What We Had
by Of Darklings and Shadow Men
Summary: "You're trying to save me." The candlelight gleamed on his raven hair. I almost couldn't see the faint scars on his face. "You think my mother was right; that there's still a chance I can be redeemed. You want to change me." (what would've happened if Mal hadn't survived Ruin and Rising)
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue: Ruination**

_ I am ruination._

The power was everywhere, light shooting from my hands, my body, my soul. Heat engulfed me and shattered my senses like white-hot claws. I cried out as it flooded into me, the force of a thousand suns. I was light. I was dying. I was everything.

In seconds, it simply...vanished.

But right before it went, I made a last desperate effort. I reached across the bond between me and the Darkling, carving into his power, reaching farther than I ever had before. All of my breath left me. I could feel the shifting of shadows, the slithering of things in the dark, the hisses of _nichevo'ya, _and the haunting whispers of a mind corrupted by power. I seized his darkness as I had that night in the chapel and held it inside of me, clenching my jaw against a scream.

_I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me._

When my power disappeared, so did his.

**Alina**

The room was blessedly dark and cool. I wanted nothing to do with light for a while. Not after I had lost it on the Fold. Not after I had lost Mal. I burrowed deeper beneath the soft covers and willed myself to drift back into the safe numbness of sleep. I didn't want to deal with anyone right now. Tears left hot trails down my cheeks and I ran my thumb again and again over the scar on my palm. When I opened my mouth to sob, his name was the only thing I seemed to know how to say.

_Mal. My Mal. Come back to me, please. I still love you. I still need you._

_ "Why?" _I whispered, nearly choking on my own voice. _"Why did this happen?"_

A soft click sounded. A band of light widened across my vision as the door opened. I recognized the figure in front of it as Tamar. I squeezed my eyes shut as she walked closer. I couldn't bear to see the worry and sympathy glistening in her eyes. The bed creaked and dipped as she sat on the edge of it. She didn't say anything for a minute.

"Alina," she said tentatively. She was soothing and quiet, like I was an animal that might shy away from her. "You have to get up."

"No, I don't," I mumbled. I wiped at the tear stains on my face.

"I'm sorry. I wish you didn't have to do this." She laid her hand on my shoulder. "We all miss, Mal. Believe me, we do. But, Alina...there's...something you have to take care of now. Something we can't handle alone."

I heard the worry ringing in her voice and knew exactly what that _something _was. A little tremor ran through me from head to toe. That _something _scared me more than anything right now. One week. That was how long it had been since the Shadow Fold disappeared. That was how long it had been since Mal died, and Tolya, Tamar, and the others had taken me back to the Little Palace. One week locked in a bedroom, hardly eating, lost in my grief. One week since I'd given the Darkling's power away with mine.

"Tamar," I said in a small voice.

"What?"

"I'm scared."

"We're all scared," she replied gently. Her smile was kind. "We're in this together, no matter what happens. But, I think this is something we have to leave up to you and your judgement. Whatever you decide, we'll be right behind you. Okay?"

I nodded. I forced myself to take a deep, steadying breath. My pain balled itself up inside of me, an icy knot in my chest. It would take a long while for it to go away. But my grieving would have to wait for now. Tamar was right. There was something I had to do and only the Sun Summoner could be trusted to do it.

"All right," I said, pushing myself up. "Let's go."

The Little Palace had no cells for prisoners. It was supposed to be a place of luxury, where all Grisha went to train and educate themselves. They were treated like royalty. There wasn't any reason for there to be a dungeon waiting in the basement. Because of this, we had to put him in one of the many bedrooms of the dormitories, where there was no window to escape from. Tolya had locked the door from the outside and taken up a place in the hallway to guard our only prisoner. It was a surprise that he hadn't tried to kill that prisoner yet. Saints knew he had every right to.

When I strode down that hallway with Tamar by my side, Tolya's eyebrows shot up. He straightened immediately, but his gaze kept flicking to the door beside him. "Alina," he said. "Are you sure you want to do this today?"

I glanced at the door. A shudder ran down my spine. The icy knot in my chest threatened to break free. I swallowed it down again. "I'm sure," I answered. I didn't sound sure at all. I sounded broken. I looked up to see Tolya giving his sister a worried glance. I tried to stand straighter. "I'm fine, Tolya. It's better to get this over with and be done with it for good." _Be done with it for good, _I thought to myself. _I doubt that's even possible. This won't be solved overnight, that's for sure._

Tolya ran one hand through his hair. "All right. Shout if you need us. We'll be right here the whole time." He fished a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. The _click _seemed to echo in the tense silence, ringing in the air. Tolya licked his lips nervously. He glanced at me and took a step back.

I walked up beside him and stopped in front of the door. Closing my eyes, I steeled myself. This was it. I wrapped my hand around the doorknob. It was cool beneath my skin. Without giving myself a chance to back down, I opened the door and slipped inside, closing it behind me. I leaned against it, my heart pounding and my eyes wide.

The room was dim, just as mine had been. But it wasn't completely dark; a lone candle flickered on a table beside the bed. Its weak orange glow illuminated the walls and cast dancing shadows on the ceiling. It also showed the silhouette seated on the edge of the bed. His elbows rested on his knees and his shoulders were slumped forward in an exhausted way. He didn't look up when I entered the room. Just sat there, eyes fixed on the floor.

I took one slow step toward the Darkling. He stirred then and I froze. His voice slid through the air, hollow and defeated.

"Alina."

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I gulped before I trusted myself enough to speak. "It's gone."

He kept his eyes trained on the floor. "What are you talking about?" he asked wearily.

"My power," I replied. "It disappeared the moment I joined the amplifiers. I'm nothing. And so are you."

"So you came here to gloat," he concluded. He glanced up at me then. His quartz-gray eyes glimmered in the candlelight. They were empty-looking. But they no longer held the unending abyss of eternity. Like me, he would live the rest of his life as a human with no power. We would both die of old age. He was just picking up where he had left off all those years ago.

"No. I didn't," I said. I took a step closer. "I came here to tell you what's going to happen to you."

"You don't have to." I blinked, caught off-guard, and he scoffed. "I'm not a fool, Alina. You can't think your soldiers or the Grisha, or anyone else is going to let me live." His gaze was hooded and bleak. "I'll be lucky if they don't torture me before they kill me. So you don't have to explain every detail to me."

I had no idea what to say. The past few days had been so full of pain that I hadn't thought about what would happen to the Darkling since the incident on the Fold. Without his power, he couldn't hurt or threaten anybody anymore. He was done leading armies and done ruling Ravka. He was done being Grisha. I knew that after all he'd done, he would have to live as a prisoner for the rest of his life, but I hadn't considered torture or...death. It made me feel sick to think about it, especially since I remembered the connection we used to have.

"That's not what I meant..." I trailed off. I bit my lip uncertainly at the expression on his face and hurried to explain. "I'm not going to kill you."

"If you don't, your people will," he replied, brushing off my words. He sighed and lifted his gaze to mine. "I know I'm going to die."

I dropped my eyes to my feet. Then I crossed the room, moving tentatively. He stayed still as I drew closer. I held my breath as I sank down onto the bed beside him. Then I simply sat there for a minute, close enough to feel his body heat, catch just a bit of his dark, clean scent...and feel him shivering. "They will not torture you," I said softly. "They won't execute you. They all think I'm dead, except for Nikolai and a few of the Grisha. We're going to move you out of the Little Palace for a meeting with Nikolai in a few days and then we'll come back when it's done. We're staying here until we can figure something out."

He chuckled humorlessly and shook his head. "I can't believe this," he muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"You're trying to save me." The candlelight gleamed on his soft raven hair. I almost couldn't see the faint scars on his face. "You think my mother was right; that there's still a chance I can be redeemed. You want to change me."

I wondered if I should argue with him, but I couldn't think of anything to say to this. "You said once that I might make you a better man," I reminded him.

"Do you really believe that you can?" he asked disbelievingly. "I've lived countless lifetimes, Alina. I've seen and done things you can't begin to imagine. I thought I would rule this country someday. Now, I have nothing." His words were tight then, nearly breaking. "I lost my power. I lost what made me _me. _What am I now?"

And all at once, it hit me. Every threat, every lie, every betrayal. I thought about Nikolai becoming a monster, about Baghra blinded and alone, about Mal's death, and the deaths of many others, all who had stood in the Darkling's way. It all rushed up inside of me until I couldn't take it anymore. I bolted to my feet and whirled around to face him.

"I don't want to hear about your power anymore!" I snarled. "I lost mine too! I lost _everything! _Mal is dead because of you! I've been through hell to stop you and so have all those soldiers out there!" I jabbed a finger at the door, where Tamar and Tolya were waiting outside. The Darkling looked up at me and I couldn't tell if he was stunned by my outburst or not. I didn't care. "You have no right to complain about _anything," _I growled vehemently. "You should be thanking me, because I could've left you to be killed on the Fold. I could've put a knife through your heart myself."

He glared up at me. "I don't owe you anything," he told me. "You've taken away everything I am. It's only fair I take away something of yours." The hint of a sneer curved his mouth. "So your precious tracker didn't survive?"

Anger and grief exploded in me and a red haze made the room go blurry. My eyes burned with tears. If I still had my power, I would've ended him right then. "You ungrateful _bastard!" _I shouted, and lashed out before I could think.

It was as if I'd blinked and missed what had happened. One second, I was standing over him, rigid with rage. The next, my palm was stinging and his head was turned away from me, a blank look of astonishment on his face. Fighting back tears, I realized that I'd slapped him.

The silence was thick in the air around us. I was breathing heavily, dragging my sleeve across my face. The anger wasn't fading. It was curling up deep in my mind to be dealt with again later. I lifted my chin and waited for his reaction. I had never hit the Darkling before. I was ready for him to fight back.

What he did then stunned me. It might have been because he thought he was going to die soon, but for whatever reason, his voice broke the silence first, a soft whisper. "I'm sorry."

I gaped at him. "Wh—what?"

He didn't repeat it. He let out a long breath and speared his fingers through his hair. "I need you to leave, Alina," he said. "I'll go with you to Nikolai and I'll stay here when we return. I won't cause trouble for you or your soldiers. But right now, I need you to leave."

"I...I don't understand..."

"Yes, you do." He locked his slate-gray eyes on mine. The candle's flame was reflected in them, a smoldering ember against his stormcloud-colored irises. "You understand more than I do. You had the tracker." He spoke like he was talking to himself. "You know what it's like to want someone. I need you to leave."

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Mal, along with the meaning his words implied. "You need me to leave because you're afraid," I breathed with sudden understanding. "You're afraid because you actually feel something for me."

"Get out," he snapped, tearing his gaze from me.

I backed away. "Aleksander..." I began, but then I didn't know how to finish.

He closed his eyes and trembled slightly, the way he always did when I said his name. No one in the world knew it except me. He wouldn't look at me. "Don't," he said. "I can't...Just go, Alina."

So I did.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, here's chapter two! Let me know what you think. :)**

_**Alina**_

"Are you ready?" Tamar slanted a sideways glance at me. Her horse shifted beneath her, pawing impatiently at the ground.

I ran one hand down the sleek, white fur on my own horse's neck and nodded. "Yeah. I'm ready. Where's Tolya?"

"He should be coming any minute now. He's going to walk on foot behind us so that he can, um, guard our prisoner better."

"All right."

It was early morning, the sun just now rising above the trees. We were waiting outside the Little Palace, preparing to ride through Os Alta and meet Nikolai. We'd had to have a slight change of plans. Nikolai had business to attend to in the city, so we would be meeting him there. I wasn't fond of the idea of trekking through the crowded streets with the Darkling behind me, hiding both our faces beneath hoods so that no one would recognize us. But it had to be done, so I wasn't going to object. Not even when Tamar tugged my hood down every time I tried to lift it up to see better.

"We ready?" a voice asked from behind me. I glanced back. Tolya stood waiting, shifting uneasily from foot to foot. He didn't like this any more than I did. Beside him, the Darkling stood with his hands bound and a black hood shadowing his features. He said nothing and never glanced at me once. I remembered him saying that he wouldn't give us any trouble, but I was still nervous.

"Yeah, we're ready," Tamar answered her brother. She raised her eyebrows at me. "You want me to lead?"

I tore my eyes away from the Darkling. "Um, no," I replied. "You go ahead."

She dipped her head and urged her horse forward. I started after her, feeling the rocking sensation of the horse's walk beneath me and wishing that butterflies weren't swarming in my stomach. We were traveling through a crowded city to meet the King, with a war prisoner, while wearing disguises so that no one would know that we had survived. This had the makings of a complete disaster. Nerves made me glance back repeatedly, making sure that Tolya and the Darkling were still behind me. Tolya stared straight ahead, the perfect soldier. But the fourth time I looked back, the Darkling moved ever so slightly. His mouth quirked in the suggestion of a smile and he arched an eyebrow as if to say, _staring is rude, Alina. _My face flushed and I didn't look back again.

I don't know how long it took to pass the Grand Palace and exit the gates to the city. I dozed for most of the ride, wishing I'd gotten more sleep, and remembering with a pang of sadness a lovely dream I'd had about Mal. I noticed the clopping of the horses' hooves on the street and looked up to see soaring mansions and beautiful lawns frosted with dew. It was the upper levels of the city, where the wealthy lived. Not many people were out and the ones that were paid us no attention besides a couple curious glances. I began to relax.

That was before we arrived at the, well, _less _wealthy parts of the city. Then all my nerves came rushing back to me.

It was bustling with people. Women were outside in their gardens, children were running around, shrieking as they played, vendors were being set up in the marketplace. People had an early start down here, where every minute is a chance to work and make your life better for your family.

I ducked my head and tried to be inconspicuous. I sneaked a glance back at Tolya again. He was still right behind us, and luckily, people were giving him some space. He didn't look like he was leading a prisoner through the streets. A black-cloaked witch, maybe, but not a prisoner. While he shoved past those who wouldn't move fast enough, the Darkling glided along the street like water. It was unnerving to watch and I faced forward again.

A shout from the side made us all halt abruptly. "Hey! You there!"

Heart slamming in my chest, I peeked out from beneath the hood to see an older man ambling over to us. He had straggly gray hair and a beard, and his dark eyes glowered suspiciously up at me and Tamar. He pointed a finger at us. "You want to tell me the meaning of this?" With a sinking feeling, I saw that he was gesturing at Tolya and the Darkling.

"The meaning of what?" Tamar asked, cool and calm. Thank all Saints she was answering the questions here.

"You think we wouldn't notice that that man is in chains?" the old man demanded. The people around him buzzed with curious murmurs and some of them stopped to watch. This was not good.

"He is in chains because he is a prisoner," Tamar explained. "We have discovered that he was involved with the incident on the Fold. He's being taken through the city to be transported to a prison outside of Ravka." Gasps followed her words. The circle around the Darkling widened. Tamar was lying perfectly and I was glad I didn't have to try and explain this.

"The Fold, huh?" The old man took a step closer to the Darkling, studying him a little too closely. "That means you got caught helping that abomination, then, eh?" He kicked at the Darkling and I couldn't tell if he hit him or not. The Darkling didn't respond, but Tamar went rigid beside me and Tolya huffed disapprovingly.

"Sir, please," Tolya intervened. "We don't want trouble. He's been through enough." He was growing more wary by the second; people were pressing close, almost between him and the Darkling. A trickle of ice crept through me.

"Wait a second." The old man bent forward, trying to peer beneath the hood to the Darkling's face. "Somethin' ain't right here. You deaf, boy? Or mute?" He waved a hand in front of the Darkling's face. He didn't respond at all. The old man was too suspicious now. I wanted Tolya to get involved, but he was being jostled too much by the onlookers and they were leading him farther away from the Darkling.

"Just what kind of prisoner are you?" the old man demanded, and in one motion, he reached up and flung the hood back.

A collective gasp and several screams went up from the mass of people. The circle grew larger around the Darkling as they all hastily backed away. Tamar swore under her breath. The Darkling appeared unfazed. He stood tall and raked the crowd with his steel-gray gaze. The old man was shouting something, gesturing at someone behind him. A white flash followed the movement of his blade as he was handed a nasty-looking knife. My heart jumped up into my throat. I frantically searched for Tolya. He was in the middle of the chaos now erupting on the street, struggling to push people out of his way without hurting them. He wasn't going to make it in time.

"I'm putting an end to this abomination!" the old man cried, and he raised the knife high. That bleak look of emptiness filled the Darkling's eyes and he didn't back down. With a jolt, I realized that he was prepared to die.

Ignoring Tamar's startled shout, I leaped down from my horse and shouldered past a man blocking my way. I barely had time to think before I was between the old man and the Darkling, with a knife plunging down toward my head. I lifted my arms to protect my face and braced myself. Pain exploded from my hands as I practically caught the blade as it came down. The street went deadly silent in astonishment. I bit back a shriek as blood trickled down my arms. There was a clatter as the knife dropped to the ground, slick and crimson.

"What in the...?" the old man trailed off and staggered away from me. His eyes were wide and he glanced between me and the Darkling with an unreadable expression on his face.

I took a shaky breath and lowered my hands. I cradled them to my chest, unable to bear the sight of the bloody gashes. When I looked over my shoulder, the Darkling was watching me impassively. Tolya was yelling angrily. In the moment before Tolya reached me, the Darkling raised his eyebrows in a silent question: _you okay? _I nodded. It seemed like he and I were communicating just fine today without speaking at all. Great.

"You _what?"_

I tried to face Nikolai without flinching, but it was getting hard. My hands were bandaged and throbbing. As soon as we'd arrived at Nikolai's temporary camp at the edge of the city, Tolya had explained everything that had happened in the marketplace. That included how I'd jumped off my horse and taken a blow meant for the Darkling. It wasn't working out well with the King of Ravka.

"What else was I supposed to do?" I asked. "I wasn't going to watch him die. Those people don't know that he doesn't have his power anymore, so they panicked."

Nikolai was standing with his arms crossed, a very impatient expression growing on his face. He sent me a dark look from his normally-bright hazel eyes. "I understand that, Alina, but I still don't approve of you putting yourself in danger. I would've reacted the same way if you'd jumped in front of Tamar."

"Do you honestly believe that?" I asked doubtfully.

A rueful smile played on his lips. "No," he admitted. "But...Alina, he's the Darkling. He's a murderer. I don't even know why you wanted to have this meeting today because we both know what's going to happen to him. He's going to be shipped off to the permafrost to a work camp, if we don't execute him here."

My stomach clenched unexpectedly. "I don't want him killed, Nikolai," I confessed. "I came here because I need your help."

"What kind of help?"

"I need guards at the Little Palace. Guards that are as experienced as the ones at the Grand Palace. And I need time."

He shifted his feet warily. "Time for what?"

I hesitated. The Darkling was waiting right outside. I didn't even know if he was going to agree to all of this. I remembered that bleakness in his eyes. He was ready to die. The part of me that loved Mal wanted the Darkling to pay for his crimes. But the part of me that had responded to deeply to him wasn't willing to let him go. "I think I can change him," I said.

Nikolai wouldn't have looked more surprised if I'd gotten down on one knee and proposed. He stared at me for a very long moment. "..._what?"_

"I know it sounds crazy, but—"

"Crazy? Alina, are you out of your mind?" He speared one hand through his golden hair. "You want me to have guards posted at the Little Palace while you try to _help the Darkling?"_

"Nikolai, please hear me out," I pleaded. "Normally, I'd agree with you. But I've seen a different side of him and I think I can make him change. Besides, he doesn't have any power anymore. It won't matter if I fail because he still won't be able to hurt this country any more than he already has. Just give me some time with him, and if I think it's not going to work, then I'll send him to the permafrost myself."

"He's a criminal," he argued. "He's killed and tortured thousands of people. He deserves to die. Why do you want to even try and help him?" His hazel eyes were open, questioning. He wanted to know the truth. But I wasn't sure I knew it myself.

I bit my lip. "I don't know," I said lamely. "Baghra once told me that she hoped he could be redeemed. She said if he could still feel, then there was a chance he could change his ways. I've seen him feel. I know part of him still cares about people."

He narrowed his eyes. "You want to be his redemption."

I nodded. He turned away from me, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. It was a frustrated gesture that I wasn't used to seeing on him. Becoming King had altered Nikolai. He wasn't as carefree or playful as he used to be, though I'd only ever met with him on serious topics. Maybe he was still the same when he wasn't under so much pressure. Finally, he turned back to me. "I want to talk to him," he decided.

I slowly rose from my chair, all of my nervousness flooding back. "Oh. Well, he's outside with Tolya. Do you want me to come with you?"

"Oh yeah, you're coming with me," he replied, striding for the door. One side of his mouth turned up in the ghost of his old smirk. "I may be ridiculously talented at times, but this is one thing I can't pull off on my own."

Outside, the midday sun shone down brilliantly. Tolya straightened immediately when we approached, casting a worried look toward his prisoner. The Darkling faced us as calmly as ever. He had taken the hood off and the breeze ruffled his black hair, making the cape stir behind him. He resembled a fallen angel, beautiful and unafraid.

Nikolai broke the awkward silence first. "So, what am I supposed to call you now?" he asked. There was a hard edge to his words. _"Moi soverenyi _doesn't seem right, but neither does 'the Darkling.' Do you have a name?"

_Aleksander. _I waited expectantly. The Darkling's gaze cut into mine. "No," he said, holding my eyes with his own, "I don't have a name." He looked back at Nikolai then and I exhaled slowly.

"Fine then." Nikolai brushed it off. He probably thought it didn't matter; no one had ever assumed that the Darkling was anything other than "the Darkling." He pointed at me, getting straight to the point. "Alina seems to think she can help you," he said. "She wants you to stay at the Little Palace for a while, instead of sending you to prison or execution. What do you think of that?"

The Darkling shook his head, nearly pitying. "I've lived too long in this world," he stated simply. "Execution."

"What—no!" I exclaimed, before I could stop myself. Nikolai's eyes had widened at what the Darkling said and now he gawked at me too. Tolya made a sound that suggested he was choking. I wasn't looking at them though. "What are you doing?" I demanded. "Are you so arrogant that you think I can't help you?"

The Darkling's hooded eyes were emotionless. "This has nothing to do with arrogance," he told me. "I meant what I said. I've lived too long and I'm no longer Grisha. I'm ready to die."

"So you're just going to give up," I concluded angrily. I glowered at him furiously. "That's not what I expected of you."

Nikolai glanced between us. "Alina..."

The Darkling was unwavering. "I'm done," he said. My heart ached. "There's nothing left for me here."

"You stupid, selfish—" I broke off without finishing. It took me two strides to make it to him and when I did, I seized his face in my hands and pressed my mouth to his. Tolya and Nikolai both inhaled sharply, but I ignored them. This kiss was different from other kisses I'd had with the Darkling. There was no rush of surety, no pure flow of power between us. It was all softness, and beneath the softness there was a slow burn that made my blood sing. The Darkling did kiss me back, though it wasn't with the intensity he'd had before. But when I drew back, he leaned in a fraction of an inch. It seemed involuntary, an unconscious movement that told me he hadn't wanted the kiss to end. I stayed close to him. "What we had," I whispered fiercely, "wasn't nothing."

He waited until I swallowed and dropped my hands from his face. _Mal. Oh, Mal, I'm sorry. _I was suddenly horrified by my actions. I had nearly stepped away from the Darkling when he spoke. "Fine. I'll stay at the Little Palace."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, here's the next chapter! The Darkling starts to open up a little in this one, and I hope you like it! More coming soon! :)**

**Alina**

"Do you want to explain to me what the hell that was?" Tamar demanded.

I shook my head, leaning against the door of my room back at the Little Palace, and rubbed my temples. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it."

"We have to talk about it!" she argued. She was mad, but there was worry in her face too. "You aren't thinking about what's best for this country anymore, can't you see that?"

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously. "I will _always _do what's best for my country. Haven't I proved that during the war?"

"Yeah, during the war," she replied. She rolled her eyes. "But _now..._" She trailed away with a sigh. "Alina, think about it. How is helping the Darkling the best thing you can do for Ravka?"

An uncomfortable feeling twisted in my stomach. I shrugged. "I never really thought about that."

"Exactly. You're not thinking with your head." She put one hand on my shoulder, sympathy in every movement. "You're thinking with your heart."

A little surge of frustration made me frown at her. "Mal has my heart," I growled. "He always will. Doing this for the Darkling has nothing to do with my feelings for him."

A sad smile curled her lips. "So, you're admitting you have feelings for him?" she asked quietly.

I opened my mouth then closed it again. Had I really said that? Did I mean it? I'd kissed the Darkling only because I wanted to convince him to stay. It had been in the heat of the moment, completely unplanned. I panicked. But it was over now, and I was fine. I loved Mal. Even if he was gone, I loved him. No one else. I lifted my chin. "It was a mistake. I love _Mal. _I'm doing this because I can't watch someone die when there's a chance they can be saved. All right?"

Tamar didn't seem convinced, but she stopped arguing. "All right. If you're sure." She gave me a long, hard look before she left the room.

I listened to the _click _of the door closing behind her and buried my face in my hands. Why had I done something so stupid? Kissing the Darkling in front of the King of Ravka was the biggest mistake I'd ever made. I could only imagine what Nikolai had been thinking at the time. _Everyone probably thinks you're out of your mind, _I thought. _And you knows, maybe you are. _I inhaled slowly, running my hands back through my hair, then let out a long breath. I stood up straight. I could do this. I could help the Darkling and prove to Tamar that this had nothing to do any lingering feelings for him. It was going to be hard to change someone like him, but I believed there was a way. I glanced over my shoulder at the door Tamar had just disappeared though and tried to muster my courage.

This time, there would be no guards, no Nikolai, and no distractions. Just me and the Darkling.

When I opened the door, the room was no longer dim with candlelight. Lamps had been lit and although their orange glow was comforting, the room would never be truly bright without a window. There was no sign of the Darkling. Swallowing, I closed the door behind me. My heart was skipping from beat to beat and I inwardly ordered it to slow down. He couldn't do anything to me anymore. He had no power. (this meant I also couldn't do anything to defend myself with my power either, but I decided to ignore that fact)

I took a hesitant step into the room. Saints, why was I so nervous? "Um...Aleksander?"

Just then, a door in the wall to my right opened and the Darkling stepped out. He was in the middle of pulling a shirt over his head, his hair damp and tousled from a shower. I caught a glimpse of smooth, defined muscle before he tugged his shirt down and saw me. An unreadable expression passed over his features. "Alina."

_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. _I didn't even know where to start. I reminded myself that _he _was the prisoner, the weaker one. Not me. Unbidden, a question rose to my lips. "Why did you tell Nikolai you'd rather be executed than come back here with me?"

"I already told you," he stated. "I've lost everything. Killing me would've been doing me a favor."

"I understand if that's how you feel, but I thought that if you had some kind of chance to live, you'd take it," I said. I felt hollow inside. He still wanted to die.

"A chance to live?" he scoffed. He gestured at the walls around us. "You're giving me the chance to be a prisoner for the rest of my life. All because of your foolish hope that I can be saved."

"You don't have to be a prisoner," I snapped back. I was getting annoyed now. "I mean, if you can change..."

"What makes you think you can change me?" he demanded. He stood rigidly in icy anger. "Admit it, Alina. This isn't about me. It's about you and your own wants."

I glared at him. "Excuse me?"

One side of his mouth curved, as though he was holding back a mocking smile. "You're only getting angry because you know it's true."

"I'm trying to _help_ you!"

"Only because helping me means you get to keep me."

I gaped at him, unable to form any kind of argument to that. An ugly flush burned my cheeks. _He is the prisoner, _I reminded myself again. I took one, firm step toward him. "You can't possibly think that I—"

I didn't make it any farther. In one motion, he'd closed the distance between us and forced me back into a wall. His hands were braced on either side of my head and all of my confidence drained away when he leaned in close, deadly serious. There was nothing but a mere sliver of air between us. "Listen to me," he said, an edge of steel to his voice. "The only reason I'm agreeing to go along with this is you." I froze as he went on. "And don't ask me why that is, because I don't understand it myself. But if you think I'm going to let you come in here every day and tell me what I should think, then you're wrong. You can send me to execution right now, because ordering me around like I'm beneath you is not going to get you anywhere." He shifted his weight, pressing in closer. I swore I could feel his body heat seeping into me; his dark, alluring scent was all I could smell and dizziness made my pulse race. "And as for that stunt you pulled in front of Nikolai," he growled, some unknown emotion in his words, "I won't tolerate you pushing me like that again."

I hardly trusted myself to breathe. I was wrong to think I had the upper hand in this situation. He was still stronger than me and still had his pride; I'd pushed it too far. "Aleksander," I started, but he cut me off.

"Don't say my name," he said, almost a plea. A shudder ran through him. "If this is going to work at all, you can't say my name."

_It's _not_ going to work at all then! _Calling him Aleksander was the only thing that seemed to make him feel anything. I wanted to use that. I gathered a scrap of courage. "Why not?" I asked quietly.

"Because," he replied, and there it was, the tiniest shred of _something; _some unfamiliar emotion in him, "I don't trust myself when you do."

I lost my breath. _Oh, Saints, I was right. He does have feelings for me._

Like he'd heard my thoughts, he abruptly pushed away from me. The space opened between us and it took all my willpower to stay standing. I hadn't anticipated any of this. I watched as he folded his arms over his chest, avoiding my gaze. The bleakness was falling over him again. The only way he would ever change was if he learned to feel again. To care about something. For a split second, I considered using his feelings for me, but I dismissed the idea as soon as it came. I hadn't been lying when I told Tamar I still loved Mal. And the way I reacted to the Darkling scared me; my heart still stuttered with the memory of his scent all around me. I had to find some other way. Something else he cared about.

I swallowed. "I'm going to leave now," I told him. I turned toward the door, and knew that my next question was going to make Tamar so mad if she found out about it. "Do...do you want to come with me? I was just going to walk around the Little Palace a little bit, before it got dark. And, I mean, you must not like it in here..."

His head jerked up and I could tell he hadn't expected this. Then he dipped his head. "Fine."

_Please don't let Tamar find out, _I prayed, as I shut the door behind us.

Outside the Little Palace, the sun was setting. It sank like a smoldering ember on the horizon, bathing everything in brilliant golden light. It was a beautiful evening with no clouds in the sky. The water of the lake gleamed, reflecting trees, and the little island, and the pastel sky.

The stables were one of the few places I'd never gone to during my training at the Little Palace so long ago. They stood alone at the edge of the forest, complete with a paddock for the horses raised there. The only ones staying there were the elegant black stallions that had once pulled the Darkling's coach. They were milling about the grass when we approached, flicking their long, ebony tails and lowering their heads to graze.

I didn't know why I'd brought the Darkling here that night. It just sort of happened. "Do they have names?" I asked him. I was resting my elbows on the fence. The horse closest to me had his muzzle buried in the long, soft grass.

The Darkling leaned against the fence and watched them. "No," he answered. "They were a gift from the King, back when I'd first led the Second Army. None of them had names and I never gave them any." He stopped as the biggest horse lifted its head, ears tilting toward the sound of his voice. "Well, except one."

I blinked. "Only one?" I asked. He nodded. I looked back at the horses again, their sleek raven fur and liquid eyes. "What'd you name him?"

A half-smile crossed over his face, then was gone. "Eclipse."

I nearly smiled too. During his time as leader of the Second Army, the Darkling's symbol had been the sun in eclipse. I scanned the horses again, looking for one that stood out in some way. "Which one is he?"

Without answering, the Darkling whistled once, a single clear note. One of the stallions raised his head. He shook out his glossy mane and nickered an answer. He trotted across the paddock, muscles rippling beneath his fur, and slowed to a graceful stop when he reached the fence. The Darkling stroked one hand down Eclipse's muzzle. Snorting, Eclipse bumped his nose against the Darkling's chest. I stared in wonder as the Darkling rubbed the horse's neck, murmuring soft words. He glanced at me. "What?"

"Nothing." But this wasn't what I'd expected. Who would've guessed the Darkling had a soft spot for a horse? "So you like horses?" I asked casually.

"I suppose," he answered noncommittally, guessing my thoughts. Then Eclipse nuzzled his shoulder and he added, "I loved to ride."

I took my arms off the fence and joined him next to Eclipse. I ran my hand through his silky mane. "Have you ever just ridden for fun?" I asked after a moment.

"Not that I can remember," the Darkling replied. "There wasn't much time for things like that."

"Maybe you should sometime. If I remember correctly, you hardly ever did anything for fun."

"I did do some things, you know. I wasn't constantly planning wars and serving the King."

"Oh, really?" I asked disbelievingly. Eclipse's coat was smooth under my fingers. "What kind of things?"

The Darkling nearly smiled again. "Sparred with _oprichniki _and other powerful Grisha. Walked by the lake at night. And everyone who lives at the Little Palace has gone to the _banya _at least once. I went to a few of the parties at the Grand Palace too." He scratched Eclipse behind the ears. "Those were my favorite," he added, half to himself, like he'd forgotten I was there.

I raised my eyebrows. "You liked going to parties at the Grand Palace? Like, ones where you have to dance?"

"Yeah. And don't look at me like that, I knew how to dance with a girl. Although not many people want to dance with you, when you're the Darkling."

I snorted, trying to imagine him slow-dancing with some wide-eyed, terrified girl. He shot me a dark look, which only made me laugh out loud. Eclipse's ears flicked and he stuck his head between us, as though asking what was so funny.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Thank you all so much for the awesome reviews! They make me so happy every time I read them. This next chapter starts with a bit of a time skip, so both Alina and the Darkling have grown since we've last seen them. There's also a tiny twist coming up that is very important to the plot of this story, and I've also added a scene from the Darkling's point of view. I hope I wrote it well; it's hard to get into his thoughts without messing it up. Reviews are always welcome and wanted :D**_

_**Enough from me; enjoy the story! :)**_

**Alina**

And that was the way my days went for the next couple weeks. In the morning, I'd talk to Tamar and Tolya, run into a few Grisha in the hallway, and go to meet the Darkling. We walked around the lake, or into the woods, or down to the stables. (once, I convinced him to sneak into the basement of the Little Palace because I'd never seen down there)

While we walked, we talked about horses, hidden trails in the forest that no one knew about, horrid meetings with the old King, the best parties at the Grand Palace, and whether or not we should move him into a room with a window. It took him a while to start talking, of course. Every so often, he'd close up again, suggest we go back inside, or change the subject. It was hard to get him to show emotion. Sometimes, he'd catch himself; he'd look away to hide a smile or stop talking when he thought he'd said too much. The rare times when he laughed were the best.

We only talked about our powers one time. It was a lovely evening. The sun was beginning to set and the sky was stained a pale pink, spilling across the few clouds. The breeze was warm with the promise of summer and the leaves of the forest trees whispered against each other. I had finally convinced Tamar and Tolya to let the Darkling move to a different room; this one had a balcony that overlooked the lake and woods. We were standing on that balcony, leaning against the railing, when I mentioned my powers for the first time.

"I caught myself trying to summon yesterday," I said. The wind blew strands of snow-white hair across my face. I brushed it away. "I do it all the time now. Even though I know there's nothing there."

The Darkling was silent for a moment. "I do it too," he admitted. I stiffened, remembering that he had been power-hungry and ruthless. Then he continued. "It's like missing a part of yourself that was always there before. It's harder at night for me, when its dark and all you see are shadows." He glanced down at the lake beneath us, glittering blue-and-gold in the dying sunlight.

"I miss it when the sun rises and sets," I replied. I fingered the edge of my sleeve. "I miss how the light felt when I called it, the rush you get before it comes."

"I want it back," he confessed. I glanced at him sharply, but I couldn't tell if he meant that he wanted it for its power or the power it gave him over others. We both didn't speak for a long minute. Voices and laughter rose up from the Grisha walking by the lake beneath us. I listened to them, content to stand silently for a while. There was nothing more to say.

A foolish, meaningless question had been lingering at the back of my mind, and I decided to ask it. "You mentioned before that you danced at parties at the Grand Palace," I began. "Do you still know how?"

The corners of his mouth turned up. "Yes," he replied. Then he looked at me. "Do you want me to show you?"

_What about Mal? _a tiny voice in my mind asked. It almost felt like a betrayal of some sort. I felt immediately uneasy. But I nodded anyway. The Darkling straightened up and held one hand out to me. "Come here." Suddenly shy, I took his hand. His fingers were long and cool. "Put your other hand here." He lifted my other hand to his shoulder, causing me to step closer to him. He was taller than me but not quite as tall as I'd thought he'd be. Still holding one of my hands in the air, he slipped an arm lightly around my waist with a politeness that caught me off-guard. "Now, you just move like I do." He took a step and I mirrored it, following his movements until I had them memorized.

It started out choppy, awkward, and a little clumsy, but eventually, it became something else entirely. It was smooth, and flowing, and graceful. I began to understand why the Darkling liked to dance. The sky was turning to flame above us with the sunset, and with the soft wind and faint voices beneath us as music, we danced as though we'd been doing it all our lives. After a couple minutes, we stopped, but he still held me to him and I didn't move away.

"I can't believe all those girls were too scared to dance with you," I laughed, smiling up at him.

One side of his mouth curved into a half-smile. "Believe it or not, I wasn't the best person to be around back then," he said, playfulness flickering in his gray eyes.

"You're not like that anymore though," I pointed out. I was half-joking, no longer afraid to say such things to him.

He blinked, as though this had just occurred to him. "No. I'm not."

For some reason, my heart skipped a beat. We were standing very close together, his arm still wrapped around me, his hand still in mine. The summer breeze caught in his black hair and tugged at our clothes. Up close, I realized that there was more than one shade of gray in his eyes; there were pale, wintry grays and flecks the color of stormclouds. His skin was touched to gold from the setting sun. Part of me, the part that could think this without feeling too guilty about Mal, admitted that the Darkling was still undeniably handsome, even with the faint lines of the scars on the side of his face.

Feeling the slightest bit of daring, I turned our hands until our fingers laced together. His palm was soft on mine, his fingers featherlight on my skin. "Can I ask you something?" I asked. I felt like if I talked too loudly, the spell would break and he'd become guarded once more.

"Go ahead."

I took a breath. "During the war, when you put the collar on my neck, and when you said all those things about...us being the only ones... Did you ever have any feelings for me at all? Did you care about what you did to me?"

His eyes closed. I knew it had been a horrible question, even before I asked it. I opened my mouth to tell him he didn't have to answer, when he took a breath. "I didn't know what I felt for you," he murmured. "I knew what I wanted and what needed to be done. I didn't think past that. But things started to bother me. Stupid things that made no sense. I wanted to kill the tracker when you chose him. I caught myself thinking about you for no reason. Then you would say you hated me and it made me want to—" He broke off.

I wasn't sure what to say. This felt dangerous, like standing too close to the edge of a canyon, looking down. Too close, much too close. I slid my hand over his shoulder to the bare skin of his neck. "I think that means you _did _feel something," I whispered.

He started. "Don't. Alina..."

I inched forward until the toes of our shoes touched. "Is it so hard to believe that you might have feelings? That you actually care about me?"

"I was a monster. I didn't feel anything."

"Then what do you feel now?"

His gaze locked onto mine. There was nothing but an inch of space between us. His words echoed through me: _I won't tolerate you pushing me like that again. _I wouldn't push him this time. Whatever happened next was up to him. My breath caught when he leaned in ever so slightly.

The sound of a door swinging shut made us jump away from each other. Tamar appeared, her gaze flicking suspiciously from me to the Darkling and back again. "Alina, it's getting late," she said. "I wanted to tell you something before you went back to your room, so I came to find you."

The chilly afternoon air flooded over me, bringing me back to my senses. A small part of my mind wondered what would've happened if Tamar hadn't showed up. "Okay," I replied. "I'll walk back with you and you can tell me on the way there."

"All right," she agreed. She tossed a last, troubled glance at the Darkling and then she left us there on the balcony. The silence was uncomfortably heavy.

I snuck a glance at him. His hair was still ruffled from the wind, but he wouldn't look at me now. A shadow had crossed over his face, closing him off again. I couldn't think of what to say. _I don't want the side of you that's the Darkling. I want Aleksander. _"I guess I shouldn't keep Tamar waiting," I began tentatively.

"You're probably right," he agreed tonelessly. Any feeling he'd shown earlier was gone, buried somewhere deep inside. He gave me a small half-smile. "Good night, Alina."

"Good night," I managed. Disappointment tinged my words. Startled, I realized I had wanted him to say _no, don't go. I want you to stay. _I walked away from him with a hollow feeling in my chest.

Tamar was waiting out in the hallway when I stepped outside. Her face blank, she bobbed her head toward the Darkling's closed door. "What was that?" she asked. A veiled threat rolled beneath the surface of her question.

"Nothing," I answered firmly. "We were just talking." I pushed on, not letting her ask me what we'd been talking about. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh, actually, I didn't need to tell you anything." She pointed at something over my shoulder, the hint of a smile touching her lips. "She wants to talk to you."

I turned around and came face-to-face with a smiling Grisha girl, with cascading hair the color of flame and her one good eyes shining like amber. "Miss me?" she asked, her voice like tinkling bells.

"Genya!" She pulled me into a hug and I hugged her back. It had been a while since I'd seen her. The other Grisha had been told by servants and guards to steer clear of the Little Palace during the Darkling's stay. But it appeared that the rules had bent enough to allow them to come back. When I glimpsed Genya's face, my happiness faltered a bit. The scars from the Darkling's _nichevo'ya _marred her otherwise-flawless skin and her eyepatch reminded me of the price she'd paid to help me in the war. _And you're trying to save the one who did this to her, _a voice in the back of my mind said.

"What're you doing here?" I asked.

"I had to come back for the party!" Genya replied brightly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Plus, I had to see you again. It's been way too long." She deflated then, and rested a hand on my shoulder. "I heard about Mal. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," I said, swallowing a wave of grief. "I'm doing better now, honestly. Now, what party are you talking about?"

"You didn't hear? Oh my gosh..." She bounced up and down happily. "It's the first one in _ages. _The Queen suddenly decided that she has to thank the Grisha somehow for their work in the war. About time, if you ask me. Not that she ever notices anything we do, unless her life is threatened." She paused to snort in disgust. Genya had never gotten along well with the Queen. But she brightened soon enough. "Anyway, she's _insisting _that we hold a party right here in the Little Palace. Oh, it's going to be great. I love parties, all those beautiful dresses, and music, and dancing."

I suddenly agreed with her, thinking of the Darkling holding me close while we danced on the balcony. Would he come? Would he be allowed? Would he even want to? I decided to ignore these questions for now. "That's great, Genya, but why're you telling me this?"

"Because you have to come!" she exclaimed. "It's going to be wonderful, Alina. I know you'll love it. I can help you pick out your dress and get ready, if you want." Her good eye sparkled hopefully. She'd missed me and this was a chance for us to do something together again. Besides, she loved doing my makeup and fixing my hair.

"Oh, I don't know, Genya. I don't think I have time for something like that. When is it, anyway?"

"Tomorrow night! Oh, please come. I'll feel so guilty leaving you here while David and I are dancing."

"_David's_ coming?" I asked. It was very hard to imagine the hardworking, no-nonsense Fabrikator dancing with Genya at a party.

Genya blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Well, I'm still trying to convince him," she confessed. "But I'm sure he'll come around eventually. But you and I can have some fun in the meantime. I saw this amazing dress the other day that would look so good on you."

"Um...I'm not sure..."

"If you don't come, I will sit outside your room all night and sing every annoying, catchy song I know."

My mouth dropped open in mock horror. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," she taunted, tossing her fiery hair over one shoulder.

I laughed. I didn't realize until that moment how much I'd missed Genya and my other friends from the war. I'd been so caught up in dealing with Tamar and Tolya and the Darkling that I hadn't had a chance to find out if everyone was doing okay. Maybe this party could be a chance to catch up with them. Or at least get dressed up with Genya and have a good time for one night. I grinned at her. "Okay, okay," I conceded. "I'll come."

"Great!" she beamed. She grabbed my arm to steer me down the hallway, practically skipping, she was so happy. "Now let's go get you a dress!"

**The Darkling**

I rested my elbows on the railing of the balcony and looked out over the lake. It gradually darkened as the sky overhead did the same, turning a deep, shadowed blue studded with the first stars. The conversations of the people beneath the palace grew fainter until they disappeared entirely. No one wanted to stay out too long in the cold night air, in the gathering darkness that muffled everything.

I welcomed it.

It slipped over me like a caress, falling as smoothly as ink does into water. This was what it had felt like to summon, languid and irresistible. _Merzost _felt even better, if you could bear the constricting pain that comes with it. I'd never felt anything like it and I would never feel it again. Had Alina ever felt that? The hunger for something more?

My eyes closed involuntarily. _Alina. _I'd thought she was a fool. Foolish for trying to save me, stubborn for arguing with me, and weak for wanting me. There were many things I'd hated about her: her stubbornness, her bravery, her infuriating resistance at every turn. What a waste of a Sun Summoner, I'd thought.

I no longer thought any of those things.

Truthfully, I had no idea what I felt for Alina, and it frustrated me. I was the Darkling. I had once ruled Ravka and planned countless battles, but I knew nothing about my feelings for a simple girl.

Well, not exactly nothing. I knew that when she laughed, everything around her seemed to light up. I knew that when she touched me, it sent tiny shocks down my skin. I knew that when I heard her clear, quiet voice shape my name, it caused a part of me to come undone. I knew all these things and more. But I didn't understand them. I wanted to know why a girl who had taken everything from me was trying so hard to save me. And why I was letting her.

I opened my eyes and gave a small sigh. _How can you do this to me? _I wanted to ask her. _How can you make me want to be a better man? _She took away my power and lost hers. We were both nothing. But she had been meant to be a being like me, the only one in the world whose powers would match my own. She understood me in a way no one else did because she'd known what it was to be alone and empty. I wasn't supposed to respond to that now. I was supposed to hate her for what she did to me. I should be planning some kind of revenge and use the feelings I knew she had for me. She would be crushed. I could easily break her heart.

But, inexplicably, I didn't want to.

The truth was this: I wanted Alina Starkov's heart. I wanted her to fall in love with me. I wanted to make her mine.

At that moment, I didn't know that she already owned me, my heart, my thoughts, everything.

I almost didn't know until it was too late.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thank you for the reviews guys! Haha, I really think you're going to like this chapter. It's a little longer than my other ones, but the dance is a very important part in this story. The next couple chapters were so much fun for me to write and the Darkling really opens up... :)**_

_**I hope you don't mind that I've changed his personality just a bit. After all, Alina did say she wanted to change him. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think :D**_

**Alina**

The entry chamber of the Little Palace, where the four tables for the Grisha orders had once sat, had been converted into something like a ballroom. Every lamp had been lit and they flickered from the walls to bathe the room in a soft golden glow. The floor was clear and gleaming beneath the massive dome that soared high overhead in the ceiling. A band had come as well, their instruments lovely and elegantly designed; the sounds they made spilled into the air like water sliding over rock, gracefully slow. It was going to be a wonderful party, where every Grisha was invited.

The only reason I'd gotten to see the chamber at all was because Genya insisted on taking me through it on my way to my room. She had two dresses slung over her arm, claiming that both would look positively stunning on me and she couldn't decide which to choose. I had no idea where she'd gotten them. Perhaps her past with the Queen had helped.

Anyway, I caught my glimpse of the band and the vast room where men and women were already beginning to gather. The girls' dresses were gorgeous things made of silk and diamonds, rippling over the floor in every color imaginable. The men's suits varied in color as well, though not as much as the dresses, and they all looked immaculate, handsome. Nerves bundled up in my stomach. Was I really going to try and look like them with my brittle, white hair and sickly appearance?

"Genya, this is ridiculous," I said, as soon as she swept me into my room. "I'm not even Grisha anymore. I shouldn't go to this party. Everyone's going to think—"

"Who _cares _what everyone's going to think?" Genya asked pointedly. She bustled about the room, setting up a wooden table and chair by the window, spreading her supplies on it, and hanging the dresses from the screen I used for changing behind. "Come on, Alina. I refuse to let you back out now. Now sit down so I can work my magic on your face."

I rolled my eyes at her, but obediently plunked down onto the chair. "And what about you?" I asked, eyeing her cream-colored _kefta. _"Aren't you going to get ready?"

"Of course I am! But I have to finish you first. Otherwise, I know you'll throw the dresses out the window when I'm not looking and make up some excuse to not go to the party. And you're going."

"I know I said would yesterday, but I'm not feeling too good about it right now."

"You'll be fine," she reassured me. She plucked a mirror from her box of treasures and handed it to me so I could watch her work. "You're going to have a lot of fun, I promise. Plus, I finally got David to agree to come."

"Really?" I asked, smiling at the blush in her cheeks.

"Yeah. Now I won't have to dance alone. And I almost found someone for you too," she added mischievously. She ran her fingers through my hair as she spoke and it smoothed itself beneath her touch, all the frizzy, loose strands disappearing.

I started. "What? Who?"

"Sorry, can't tell you yet." She stretched out one graceful arm to her box. From a glass jar, she picked up the dark green stem of a rose. Its petals were as white as the moon's halo, so white that they almost didn't look real. She took several of these petals and ran them over her own hands; I stared in wonder as the color seeped into her skin. Without wasting a second, she slipped her fingers back into my hair, winding it up on top of my head and securing it with a pin. From her box, she took a length of thin, shimmering black-and-gold ribbon. She pinned it to the side of my head with a glittering golden pin in the shape of winding leaves and threaded it back into the bun. "This'll match whichever dress you pick," she assured me.

She moved to my face next. Her touch was light, tingling on my skin and erasing every blemish. She whisked back and forth between me and her box, choosing different things that seemed completely random to me, but were doing something marvelous to my face. At least, I hoped so. Genya always did a good job, no matter who she was working on.

She stepped back, examining me with a careful eye, then broke into a wide grin. "There! You look amazing! No, wait!" she yelped, snatching the mirror from me before I could look. "I changed my mind; you can't see yet. Go go, put a dress on! Ooh, I hope you like them!"

I stood up and made my way over to the changing screen. When I saw the dresses that Genya had picked for me, my jaw dropped. She hovered behind me, an excited look on her face.

They were incredible. One was glorious, sparkling with gems that winked like stars in the light. It was pure ivory with little lines of gold raining down between the jewels. It would stand out among the other dresses. But I wasn't sure I wanted to stand out. I looked at the other dress and froze. It was black silk. There were no diamonds on it whatsoever. But it was beautiful. It looked like it would fall to just above my knees. Ribbons of gold decorated the neckline and snaked down its length. It was strapless and like nothing I could ever see myself wearing.

"Genya...I'm not sure..."

"What do you mean you're not sure?" she asked. "Just pick one!" She put her hands on my shoulders and admired the dresses with me. "I remembered you looked really good in black, so that's why I picked that one. Honestly, I like it more than the other, but you can choose since you have to wear it after all."

The white one was extraordinary and logic told me that it would be fitting for a Sun Summoner, the one they called a saint. But a dark part of me, a part deep inside, longed to wear the black one. For a reason I didn't know, I had the sudden, powerful urge to feel the fabric on my skin, soft as shadows. Wordlessly, I took it in my hands. Genya gave a tiny bounce of delight from behind me. I stepped behind the screen for a moment and pulled on the dress. It was as soft as I'd imagined and fit perfectly, as though it was meant for me. I ran my hands over the ribbons and wondered if it was possible for a silly girl like me to actually look nice for once.

"Oh my gosh," Genya breathed, when I edged shyly out from behind the screen. "You look beautiful, Alina. Everyone's going to want to dance with you."

"Thanks, Genya," I replied.

"Well, don't just stand there! Go look in the mirror! I gotta go and get dressed! I'll see you at the party, okay? Okay! Bye!" She waved happily and, holding her box to her chest, she opened the door and skipped off down the hallway. I watched her go, feeling lighter inside.

I twisted my hands together anxiously and edged my way in front of the full-length mirror hanging on the wall by the screen. The girl who gazed back at me looked nothing like me at all. She was what a Sun Summoner should look like. Her hair was like tendrils of snow, the golden pin glinting, holding the ribbon in place. Strands of curling hair framed her face and fell about her shoulders. Her eyes were deep like chocolate, and her sooty lashes curved seductively. A blush colored her cheeks and her skin seemed to glow with its own light. The dress clung to her waist and widened at her hips, shifting around her legs like darkness itself. She was a lovely saint, everything the other Grisha wanted me to be.

But I wasn't Grisha anymore.

I didn't deserve this.

_You _were _Grisha. You were the Sun Summoner. And the other Grisha are expecting you there, now that Genya's probably told them all you were coming. You'll be fine._

-o-o-o-

**The Darkling**

I caught sight of her across the lamplit room, talking to the redheaded Tailor. Laughter danced in her eyes and her ivory hair shimmered. When she moved, I was mesmerized with the bare curve of her shoulders, the way my color looked on her slim form.

I was consumed by only one thought: _I need her._

**Alina**

Genya looked glorious in her flaming amber dress, her hair cascading in waves down her back. I'd caught at least fifteen guys sneaking glances her way since she'd shown up. Even with the old scars marring her skin and her ever-present eyepatch, she was still stunning. David had actually agreed to wear a suit and I'm sorry to say that I cracked up when I saw the discomfort on his face and his mop of messy brown hair. But he loved Genya and didn't want to ruin her evening, so here he was.

Grisha weren't just glancing at Genya; everyone was looking at me, happy that the Sun Summoner had decided to come. They touched my arm as they passed and murmured greetings. All around, I heard the whispered words: _Sankta. Sankta Alina. Sol Koroleva. _Saint. Sun Queen. I didn't think it would be very polite to correct them. I had nothing. I wasn't their saint or their queen. I was no one. Unbidden, a different word rose to my mind. _Nichevo'ya. _Nothings, like me.

"Hey." Genya was studying me, a worried expression on her face. "Are you okay? You got really quiet for a minute there."

I forced the unwanted thoughts away and smiled. "I'm fine," I assured her. "Just thinking, I guess."

She returned the smile and gestured around us. "Isn't this wonderful?" she asked. "I didn't even know I missed parties so much until I came here."

"It is very nice," I agreed absently, glancing around at the sound of a quiet whisper of a guest. _Sankta. _A little shiver ran down my spine. People wouldn't become obsessed with a saint, would they?

"I wish I could stay all night long," she went on. She flung an arm around David's shoulders and placed a tender kiss on his cheek. "Don't you agree, David?"

David looked horrified at the idea. "Absolutely not."

It was nice to see them teasing each other, the love in their eyes. They were a very cute couple. But it also gave me a strong feeling of wistfulness. _Mal. _I had no one now. "You two should dance," I suggested. "I won't feel bad if you leave me here for a little while. I know you want to, Genya."

"Are you sure?" she asked. "You don't have anyone to dance with." She paused thoughtfully. "Well, I did say I talked to someone earlier, but I don't know if he came."

"It's fine, Genya. Really, it is. He'd probably be scared to dance with a 'saint' anyway. You go have fun."

"Alina..."

"Genya."

"Ugh, okay. I'm going." She flashed me a grin as David started to lead her away. She fluttered her fingers at me in a wave of farewell. Then his arm was around her waist and they joined the crowd of people dancing in the middle of the room.

I watched them. Genya was my best friend and the kindest person I knew. She'd helped me when on one else would. She deserved to be happy with David and they were lucky to have each other. But where did that leave me? Everyone here except for my closest friends believed that I was still the Sun Summoner. They believed that I was a saint. What would they think if I told them the truth? I sighed, wishing I could ignore the sadness returning to my heart. This was a mistake. I shouldn't have come.

Just then, a voice spoke in my ear, a voice like black feathers falling to the ground. "No one to dance with, little saint?"

I spun around and found myself face-to-face with the Darkling. Words left me. All thoughts left me.

He was utterly gorgeous. He was dressed in all black, and though there were other men wearing dark suits here, he made his look incredible. His shock of inky hair fell into his eyes, which glinted like quartz. He stood tall and confident, even when Grisha stared wide-eyed at him. They must've been warned of his presence in the Little Palace or they would've been rioting right now.

I finally managed to find my voice. "What are you doing here?" I asked shakily.

One side of his mouth lifted in a half-smile. "I mentioned that I liked parties, didn't I?" he asked.

"I...I just didn't expect you to want to come," I stammered, suddenly very aware of the glances slicing through me and the fact that I was wearing what had been his color.

"I wasn't going to," he told me. "But your friend, the Tailor, she came to me. She told me about all of this and that you were going." His smile deepened. "And that you would be alone."

So this was who Genya had convinced to come to the party. I felt butterflies swarm into my stomach. The Darkling decided to come because of me? I recovered from my shock and lifted my chin teasingly. "It doesn't matter that I came alone," I said airily. "I could dance with anyone here. They would be honored to be chosen by the Sun Summoner."

"Of course they would," he replied, sarcasm dripping from his words.

I pretended to be offended. "It's true. They all want to ask me right now, they're just too scared with you standing next to me."

"Because I'm the Darkling?"

"No, because you're much too ugly."

He chuckled and the sound crawled beneath my skin, leaving delighted shivers in its wake. The music filling the room suddenly changed. It was a different kind of song, played by instruments I'd never heard before. It was slow, haunting, and intoxicating. The sound wound through the air like wind whispering over water. It was the kind of song that made something come loose inside you, made you want to become lost. The Grisha around me began to pair off and head to the center of the room.

The Darkling held one hand out to me. "Dance with me, Alina?"

_A saint dancing with a demon. The others will think you're mad. _I placed my hand in his.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Thank you all so much for the incredible reviews! They really make my day. I loved writing this chapter and I hope you enjoy reading it. :)**_

**Alina**

The Darkling danced just as well as I remembered. We seemed to move as one, connected by invisible strings. Everything was so fluid, so slow. The music snaked around us, filling all of my senses with its otherworldly melody. I never wanted to stop. People were gawking at us, unable to believe that Ravka's savior would dare to be seen with the Darkling in this way. Their disapproving mutters reached me. Suddenly, the word _Sankta _was being spoken like a curse. I felt immediately uneasy.

The Darkling's hand on my waist drew me in closer, leaving a breath of air between us. "You're not used to them speaking like that, are you?" he asked. "Calling you a traitor?"

I shook my head. "No," I confessed. "I'm not. They want me to be their Sun Summoner. But I can't."

"Why not?"

My eyebrows flicked up in bewilderment. "You know why," I muttered, not wanting to be overheard. "I have nothing now."

"True." He waltzed me through the room, letting the crowd part for us. "But you can still play the part, as Nikolai showed you. You can still be their hope."

"I don't want to," I replied. Then the truth of that statement sank in. I was done being these people's saint. I didn't want them to make my life into a lie. But what if it was already too late?

"Oh? And what do you want to be instead?"

I met his gaze daringly. "I can be someone else's hope. If he'll let me."

He smirked, and the butterflies in my stomach whirled. "My hope," he murmured slowly, as though trying out the taste of the words. He cocked his head slightly to one side. "Maybe. But then what am I to you?"

The voices swirled around me, whispers of _traitor, murderer, abomination, monster. _But I was none of those things. And neither was he. I was suddenly bold, uncaring of what they would say behind my back. I sidled up beside him and our bodies brushed together. His scent claimed me as I whispered to him, my lips on his ear. "You are Aleksander. You are the only person I want to save."

I pulled back again. When he looked down at me, the smirk was gone and there was an emotion in his face that I'd never seen before. Our eyes locked. I had never held someone's eyes for so long, never looked into the place where their soul resided. Did the Darkling still have a soul? I wanted him to.

The dance had brought us to the front doors of the Little Palace. There weren't many people here and the ones that were there all inched away when they saw us. The distrust in their faces was obvious. Their Sun Queen was lost.

Suddenly, and without any warning at all, the Darkling's arm tightened around my waist and he tugged me away from the other dancers. He shouldered open one of the doors, and cool night air flooded over me. I didn't have any time to glance over my shoulder at the room before he had yanked me outside and kicked the door shut. Then my back was against it, and there was moonlight caught in his hair, and he was stroking his thumb over my lower lip. My pulse jumped.

"Alina," he murmured softly. "I need you to tell me why. Why you want to save me. I want the real reason."

I couldn't concentrate on the question. I couldn't concentrate on anything because his hand was cupping my face now, gentler than he'd ever been, and his other hand was at my hip. "I—I couldn't let you die," I stammered.

His eyes were as gray as distant mountaintops, filling with some unknown feeling. I held my breath when he bent his head, touching our foreheads together. "I said I wanted the real reason," he reminded me.

Ice trickled down my spine. I remembered the day he'd first told me his true name, the moment when he'd asked me to say it and I felt the danger of his closeness. It felt like that now. I swallowed hard. "I...I was falling in love with you," I whispered. The confession hung between us. "I still am."

He let out a breath. "A saint in love with the Darkling," he said, almost thoughtfully. "Impossible." He tipped my chin up, angling his head, and kissed me. I heard the blissful sigh that escaped me and I didn't care if he did too. I hadn't realized how much I needed this until it was happening. I shut my eyes and kissed him back, drinking in the taste of him. He made a low sound in the back of his throat and abruptly broke the kiss. My eyes fluttered open to see him gazing down at me, breathing raggedly, conflicting emotions flickering over his features.

"Aleksander?" I asked, wondering if I'd done something wrong.

He closed his eyes and bowed his head, looking nearly pained. "How do you do that?" he asked, his voice thick. "How do you make me need you so much?"

I stared at him. "What are you saying?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not sure of anything when I'm around you. Not even myself." His hands were at my waist, fingers splayed over the small of my back. "I don't understand. I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to fall in love."

My mind went blank at his words. _He's in love with me? _"I...I don't know what to say," I managed.

He was silent for a long moment. The night was cold around us, the stars glinting from high overhead. The full moon touched the world to silver. Then he took a shuddery breath. "Just say you're mine," he whispered. "Tell me that you'll stay with me this time. That I don't have to fight anymore." His eyes moved over me with so much longing and so much affection that it took my breath away. "I belong to you, Alina. You could do anything to me and I would never ask you to stop. Even if you broke me, I would still be yours."

I gazed at him, at this man who had once been the Darkling, and realized that I'd never fully understood that connection between us. What we had was something unfamiliar to me but so complete that it made me willing to believe his every word. I'd given him my heart long before this. But I didn't really know that until tonight. "I thought you didn't want to be saved by me," I breathed, not knowing what else to say.

He took my hand in his and twined our fingers together. He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed each knuckle, so tenderly that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. "You saved me long ago," he said. "I never knew until now."

I trembled. "Aleksander."

I crushed my mouth to his. He kissed me back hungrily, his strong arms wrapping around me in the dark. I gave in to it, to him, for the first time. My fingers threaded through his hair, aching to feel all of it. One of his hands was closed on my hip, the other searing into the bare skin of my back that my dress exposed. He slid his hand down my spine, pulling me up against him. I felt his mouth leave mine and trail down my jaw, leaving a delicious heat on my skin. I tilted my head back. He nuzzled my neck and his lips moved lower; he kissed my shoulder in a way that sent electricity dancing down my spine.

"My Alina," he whispered between kisses. _"Moi svet."_

His words shook me at my very center. I wasn't thinking straight anymore. Delirious with his touch, my hands sought out the front of his jacket, fumbling the buttons open and shoving it from his shoulders. Growling under his breath, he pushed himself even closer to me. I had his shirt halfway unbuttoned when a sound came to us from the darkness.

We both froze.

Shoes were clacking in the stones of the pathway leading up to the front doors of the Little Palace. Muted voices followed soon after, growing louder as they came closer. Panic overwhelmed me. But the Darkling was already moving, his arm secure around my waist, dragging me away from the doors. He led me through the night with ease, around the corner of the palace. We ducked into a shadowed place behind the wall and waited. My heart was pounding wildly in my chest. The footsteps stopped outside the doors and it was obvious that the people were having an important conversation. They were, of course, blocking the only easy way back into the entry chamber where I was sure Genya was looking for me.

"We almost got caught and now we're stuck here," I hissed to the Darkling.

He chuckled with dark intent and yanked me up against his body. His shirt was still open, his bare chest a sharp contrast with the black fabric, and the hint of his abs just barely showed. He curled his fingers in the fabric of my dress, bunching it up in a show of desire. "Too bad," he murmured. "And you were just about to take my clothes off too."

My face flushed. "I was not," I spluttered. "Just your shirt, not everything."

"My shirt counts as clothes, Alina." He inched my dress higher, skimming his hand up the side of my leg. My flesh burned where he touched me.

"So does my dress, Aleksander." I felt his hand still, then tremble. He let my dress swing back into place and looped his arms around me. I let him drag me into him. He buried his face in my neck.

"I want you to call me by my name every day," he whispered. "You've changed me.I can't call myself the Darkling any longer. Not when I'm with you."

I nodded, overwhelmed by how much I felt for him in that instant. "Okay," I said. "I will." Sudden tears blurred my vision and I clung to him. A sound close to a sob racked my chest. "Don't ever leave me again. I don't know what I would do if you went back to that place you were at before. It was so—" I broke off, gasping. "I needed you so much and I couldn't even tell you."

"Shhh," he hushed, rubbing my back in soothing circles. He cradled my face in both hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "I'll always be here. I couldn't go back, even if there was a way to have all of my power again. You mean more to me now than any of that ever did. You have my heart, _moi lyubov."_

I wanted to cry even more at his confession. He loved me. Finally, he loved me.

I would never be the same again.

-o-o-o-

**Translations (based on Google and altered into what I assume is Ravkan)**

_Moi svet. _My light.

_Moi lyubov. _My love.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Oh my goodness, I'm so glad you love this so much! Hope you like these next couple chapters. I loved writing them! :)**_

** Alina**

How did we get out of that situation last night? Well, the short answer to that is there were a lot of secret passageways in the Little Palace the I didn't know about. The long answer involves a lot of sneaking through hallways, swearing under my breath, stumbling into the kitchens by accident, and being trampled by a worried Genya when I finally reached the main room again.

It was the most hectic night of my life. And I didn't mind one minute of it.

Because Aleksander was there the whole time, leading me through dim tunnels in the walls and smirking when I tripped over my own feet. He'd said that I should go and talk to Genya, even though he wasn't coming back to the party; he'd had enough of the constant mutters and scowls. He'd pulled me into a kiss outside the doors and said goodnight. I was floating when I went back to the party.

The next morning, I began my day with Genya, who was every bit as energetic as she'd been the night before. We were walking out by the lake, watching the creamy dawn sky reflected in the calm waters and talking about a new festival the Grisha were trying to set up at the edge of the city. Every once in a while, I couldn't stop myself from glancing up at Aleksander's balcony.

"So this is the idea," Genya began. Her hair was styled into gleaming ringlets and her eyepatch was studded with chips of amber. "All of the Inferni at the Little Palace were complaining all night long about how they thought the Grisha should throw their own parties for once instead of showing up to the ones the Queen sets up. So they were thinking of putting on something like a show near the outer parts of the city. You know, so that everyone can come watch and they won't burn the whole place down in the process."

I gave her a look. "Wait, the Inferni want to put on a show with fire?" I asked. "Doesn't that sound a tad bit dangerous?"

"That's what I said," she agreed. "But they all got mad, of course, and started yelling at me about how they have perfect control. And besides, they would take the Tidemakers with them, just in case things got out of hand."

"Thank goodness," I said. Some of the Inferni could get carried away with their powers. Fire was a nasty, unpredictable thing to command, but they loved it. "So was that all a bunch of talk or are they going to do it?"

"Actually, yes. One week from now, they will be gathering all of the people of Os Alta who have a death wish and show off their 'amazing' skills for them."

"Wow. They only have one week to put together a decent show?"

"The arrogant morons insisted that it was more than enough time."

"You know what that means though, right?"

"No, what?"

"In one week, every Inferni and Tidemaker will be gone. That's about half of the Little Palace that we'll have all to ourselves.

Genya wagged a finger at me. "I like the way you think," she said.

We giggled like children together. Happiness bloomed in every part of me. I was so lucky to have a friend like her. We had survived so much during the war; she was the closest thing I had to a sister.

Just then, she cocked her head at me curiously. "Why do you keep doing that?"

I didn't even notice I was doing anything. "Doing what?" I asked.

"You've looked up at the Darkling's window about fifteen times since we came out here," she explained. Her brow furrowed in faint concern. "Did he say something to you at the party?"

Heat rose to my face and I tried to hide it behind my hand, pushing hair out of my eyes. "Um. Sort of." Suddenly, I had a fierce need to confide in my best friend. I trusted her more than anyone; she deserved to know. "Genya, he—"

"I knew it!" she interrupted me angrily. Her hands were curled into fists at her sides. "I knew he was going to screw this up! What did he say to you? Tell me everything, and we'll march right up there and throw him out the window!"

"Genya, he didn't threaten murder!" I protested.

"...oh." She sniffed and straightened her kefta. "Well then, what did he say?"

"That...he was in love with me." I braced myself.

Genya's one eye widened and for the first time since I'd met her, she was completely speechless. She looked at me, then up at Aleksander's window, then at me again. "...what?"

"Genya," I said, hoping to calm her down, "the Darkling is in love with me."

"Are you being serious?"

"I am absolutely being serious."

"OH MY GOSH." She rested her hands on my shoulders and turned me to face her. "That is—I don't even—How do you feel about this?"

I dropped my eyes, half in anxiousness and half in shyness. "I love him, Genya," I said quietly. "Probably more than I should."

Silence.

Then she smacked me on the arm. "Well, it's about time!"

"W—what?" I yelped, caught off-guard. "What do you mean?"

"Alina," she said, smiling kindly, "when Tamar told me about what you were trying to do with the Darkling, I knew it was because you couldn't let him go. And I knew you were going to fall in love with him, even if he didn't change. Now, I will admit that I didn't expect all of this." She waved her hands, gesturing to the this. "But still."

"So you're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad?" She put an arm around my shoulders in a comforting way. "I know the Darkling did horrible things in his past. But if he's willing to become a better man for you, then of course I'm going to be happy for you. You're like a sister to me, Alina. You lost so much in your deserve to be loved."

My heart swelled and I hugged her. "Thanks, Genya."

She sniggered mischievously. "I will expect details about everything you two—"

"Shut up."

**Aleksander**

I was standing on the balcony, leaning with my hands on the railing, when I heard the door creak open behind me. Immediately, I knew who it was. Only one person ever came to visit me here. I waited, faintly bewildered at the way my heart was racing, until she was behind me; her arms coiled around my waist and I felt her cheek rest on my back.

"You're very quiet," Alina commented matter-of-factly. Her voice was muffled by my shirt. "What're you thinking about?"

Her body heat seeped into me. I decided to tell the truth. "You."

"Oh," she said, delight in her voice. She paused for a few seconds. "What about me, exactly?"

"Dancing with you last night," I admitted, somewhat reluctantly. I wasn't used to telling her what I thought. I'd never trusted someone like this before.

She laughed softly. "Really?"

I nearly smiled. "Yes."

We didn't speak for several minutes. The sun was high in the sky, burning away every cloud. The forest rustled in the breeze and the lake glittered brilliantly in the midday light. Grisha were clustered around it, enjoying the beautiful day together. I watched them absently. When was the last time I'd been that happy? When had I ever been happy before?

I tensed when Alina shifted her arms so that her palms folded over my stomach. She was hesitating, unsure of herself. Then she held her breath and I felt her slip one hand up under my shirt. Her hand fell on my bare stomach, brushing her thumb over the muscle. I exhaled a rough breath. I hadn't expected my skin to burn the way it did, responding to her touch. I wasn't used to being vulnerable in this way. Her thumb kept moving, stroking over my abs and I heard her breath catch.

I surprised both of us when I turned around in her arms and took hold of her waist. I leaned back against the railing, pulling her with me until she was up against my chest. Her soulful brown eyes gazed into mine. "Do you love me, Alina?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

"What do you mean?" she asked in puzzlement.

I reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You should hate me, after everything I've done to you," I murmured. "You have every right to turn away from me now. Why don't you?"

"Because I know you regret what you did," she answered gently. She cupped my face with one hand, so sweetly that I lost my breath. "I forgive you. And yes, I love you."

My whole being filled with warmth when she said it. I'd never imagined that I could feel this complete with someone, after all that had happened in my life. I buried my fingers in her hair and eased her head back, so that her lips met mine. I kissed her as I had before, slowly and surely. Then her mouth left mine and she kissed along my jaw. Her hands pushed under my shirt, sliding over my stomach to my chest. I was stunned by the way my body reacted to her, my back arching, everything electrified. A low groan escaped me.

"_Alina_," I gasped, and her smile curved against my skin. I was drowning, falling deeper and deeper underwater, and I didn't care at all.

Growling, I pushed off from the railing and lifted her into my arms. Instinctively, she clung to my shoulders to keep from falling, her legs wrapping around my waist. I started at the sensation and how it sent a jolt down my spine. Frantic for more, I pressed my mouth to hers. She kissed me back, her mouth coming alive, and I blindly carried her from the balcony and into my room. Her fingers spread through my hair, cool on my scalp. Her legs tightened around me and the way our bodies pressed together made me crazy. I broke the kiss, breathing heavily, and my eyes flicked to the bed. She followed my gaze.

"Aleksander," she breathed, and I shuddered. "I don't want to rush this." She avoided my gaze, as though afraid that I would be upset with her. "I'm sorry, I'm just...not ready."

"Don't apologize," I said. I kissed her forehead. "I would never push you into something you didn't want. You have to believe that."

She nodded and slid her legs from my waist to stand in my arms. She laid her head against my chest. "I don't think I can live without you now," she whispered, listening to my heartbeat. "Is that crazy, after all that's happened?"

_I don't deserve her,_ I thought, as I rested my chin on top of her head. _I will never deserve her because she is much too beautiful, inside and out_. "After hearing you say that..." I trailed off, overcome by this new feeling inside of me. "I'm so in love with you, _moi svet_, I can't even put it into words. You are my life."

"Aleksander," she said, in a doubtful tone that told me she couldn't believe that anyone would love her that much.

"It's true," I murmured. "You own me now, my body, my soul. All that I am is yours." She didn't answer. She hugged me closer, letting out a small contented sigh. I wanted to hold her there forever.


	8. Chapter 8

_**All right guys, here's the next chapter! For those of you that are eager for the story to move on, I swear, this is the last fluffy chapter I'll be posting for a little while in this fanfic. (ugh, I just love romance and this couple so much, and hey it's a fanfic, so I just wrote what I wanted XD) **_

_**Anyway, like I said, this is the last little moment with Alina and Aleksander before things get more serious again. There are more moments for them coming up, so don't worry; this won't be the last. However, there are some new threats for them at the Little Palace, as you will soon find out. I do have a plan for them that will completely stun Alina, who was used to being people's Saint, and be the ultimate test for Aleksander. That's al I'm saying; now enjoy the story! :)**_

**Alina**

There are no words to describe how happy I was that week. The Little Palace was bustling with activity. The Inferni and Tidemakers were constantly gathered around the lake, practicing for their festival. Everyone in Os Alta was talking about it now, which irritated Genya to no end because it made the Inferni even more cocky than usual. Genya and I visited the Grand Palace several times, exchanging news and gossip with Nikolai, and sneaking into back rooms to try on the luxurious gowns the Queen had owned. It was great fun, especially the one time we were caught and had to run back to the Little Palace with angry servants on our heels. Tamar and Tolya had taken one look at us and said that we were officially banned from going back to the Grand Palace.

There were also secret moments that brightened my days, the moments with Aleksander. We would walk by the lake and watch the fiery tricks the Inferni were concocting, joking behind their backs about how they'd probably burn Os Alta to the ground. We'd find paths that took us deep into the forest to hidden treasures; a clear pool glittering in the sunlight, a massive oak tree with a room hollowed out in its trunk, or a lonely stone hut that brought both of us sad memories. Then we'd move on, finding other ways to fill our time together.

He was wonderful, everything I needed. If I wanted to watch the sunset, he'd stand behind me and whisper lovely words in my ear. If I was in the middle of telling a story while we walked in the forest, he'd back me into a tree and cut me off with a kiss. And if I woke from a nightmare and showed up in tears outside his room, he folded me into his arms and promised to keep me safe. I couldn't picture my life without him now.

One day, we decided to take Eclipse and ride through Os Alta. It was risky, but the sky was clear and blue, and I longed to see the gleaming city on a day like this. So, despite Tamar's many warnings, we went.

"Favorite color," I said, watching two children go racing past us on the street.

"Black," Aleksander replied easily. He sat behind me, his arms on either side of me as he held the reins. Eclipse snorted, shaking out his glossy mane and walking at a sleepy, lazy pace.

"Favorite season."

"Winter."

"Favorite place."

"The lake at night."

"Favorite smell."

His laugh vibrated through me. "Who has a favorite _smell?_" he asked, his breath tickling my ear. The two children had dashed ahead of us by now and were chasing each other back and forth in front of a soaring white mansion. We were in the upper, wealthy levels of the city.

"I'm running out of ideas here!" I pointed out defensively. "And I happen to know many people who would have a favorite smell."

"Fine then. What's yours?"

I paused, thinking. "I like the smell of cinnamon and sugar," I told him. "And trees blooming in spring. Oh, and those cakes Genya steals from the kitchens for me." I grinned at that memory. The chef had been so annoyed with her, it was hilarious.

Aleksander shook his head in mock hopelessness. "You actually have multiple favorite smells," he teased. "Unbelievable."

"Shut up," I muttered. "I told you mine, now you have to tell me yours."

"I don't have one."

"Think of one." I snapped my fingers imperiously. "Favorite smell. Go."

He chuckled and switched his reins to one hand. With the other, he tenderly pushed my hair away and bent his head, his black hair brushing my ear. He nuzzled my neck and breathed in, making my eyelids flutter shut. "Sunlight," he whispered. "And warm forests." He placed a kiss to my neck. "Home."

I swallowed. "Oh. Is that all?"

"Mmm," he mumbled, in a way that could be a yes or a no. He kissed my neck again, his mouth lingering, teeth brushing my skin. I relaxed against him, feeling his heat soak into me. I inhaled his own incredible scent, a smell of sweet soap and wicked, icy nights, and knew that I could easily become drunk with him. Everything about him was absolutely intoxicating.

"You're going to make Eclipse walk right into a wall if you don't watch where you're going," I told him. Eclipse's ears twitched like he knew I was talking about him.

Aleksander sighed and drew back again. "Maybe we shouldn't have come out here today," he said. He skimmed his fingers down my arm and rested one hand on my leg, his palm sending heat through my thigh. "I want to be alone with you. Right now."

I smiled and reached back to bury my hand in his silken hair. I slid it between my fingers, running my index finger over the soft curve of his ear. A tiny sound of appreciation came from his throat, almost a whimper. I suddenly longed to be alone with him too.

We rode into a wide street, where stalls and tables were set up on either side. Food, crafts, tools, and other things were being displayed and sold here. People scurried back and forth, examining what was for sale and exclaiming over the brilliant weather we'd been having. It truly was a marvelous day and the crowd wasn't big enough to choke the whole street. I even caught sight of another rider on horseback, winding his way through the people and laughing at something a friend had said. I tipped my head back to give Aleksander a hopeful look.

"I can't buy anything," he warned me.

"I know. I just want to look." I blinked pleadingly.

A smile tugged at his lips. "Okay."

I beamed at him and lightly kissed his mouth. The surprised delight in his face was so sweet and so out of character with what I'd thought of him. We rode into the crowd. I had a good vantage point on top of Eclipse, gazing down at the tables spread with goods. There were tiny statues of soldiers and horses, carved wooden figurines, and exquisitely detailed toy pirate ships. I looked around at everything with childlike wonder. A few people glanced up at me in awe, and then disapproval when they saw that I was with Aleksander. I ignored their glares and continued to look at a tray of pastries someone had put out. They looked delicious and glazed with honey and sugar. I could've looked at all of these things all day.

I stopped Eclipse when we came to a stand selling beautiful woven dreamcatchers. They were wonderfully made, all delicate strings and glittering marbles. The blonde-haired man running the stand smiled warmly at me, and looked to be only a bit older. He glanced sharply at Aleksander behind me. "You like them?" he asked kindly.

I nodded. "Very beautiful," I said, wishing I could hold one in my hands.

He dipped his head. "Thank you, _Sankta," _he replied. "Though perhaps not as beautiful as you."

It was a compliment and nothing more. I mumbled a thank-you, never very good at responding to this kind of thing. Aleksander stiffened and slid his hand up my leg to wrap his arm possessively around my waist. The blonde man's eyes flashed, but quickly grew friendly again as I said goodbye. His gaze followed me for only a second as we rode away. A growl from behind startled me. I glanced at Aleksander and saw his slate-gray eyes cutting into the man like knife points. I touched his arm.

"He was only being nice," I warned him.

"I don't like the way he looked at you," he muttered, sounding caught off-guard by his own reaction.

"You're jealous," I realized.

Now he really looked caught off-guard. "What?"

"Another man told me I'm beautiful, and that makes you jealous," I explained, growing amused with the whole situation. I raised my eyebrows. "You've never been jealous before?"

"No," he admitted. He shifted his weight. "I don't think I like it."

"No one likes it, trust me."

-o-o-o-

Sunsets were glorious to watch from Aleksander's balcony. The sun was a smoldering orb in the flaming sky, painting the clouds with red and orange streaks. It was late, and above the fading fire of the sun, the first few stars were appearing in a growing haze of blue. Night was approaching fast. But I didn't want to leave just yet.

I was standing with one shoulder against the doorway leading out to the balcony. It was too warm for my Summoner's _kefta, _so I'd taken it off, leaving me in the white blouse and pants I wore under it all the time. The Inferni were still out by the lake, and every now and then I glimpsed a gout of flame billowing up into the air. I liked to watch them, but I also couldn't wait until they left at the end of the week. The Little Palace would be much more peaceful without them.

I started a little when Aleksander crept up behind me and placed his hands on my hips. Then I relaxed into him and he kissed my cheek; the action was so endearing that I was once again startled by it. "Now it's my turn to ask," he said softly. "What're you thinking about?"

I sighed. "You."

"What about me?" I could hear the smile in his words.

I laughed nervously. "Oh, I don't know," I replied. "Everything. Your eyes, and your laugh, and your voice." I didn't know what else to say so I stopped, tracing circles over his arm with one finger.

Silence.

The stars appearing, winking down at us.

The crackle of Grisha fire.

And then.

"I love you."

I stilled. "What?"

He kissed the place beneath my ear, his lips soft and tempting. "I've never said it, have I?" he asked quietly. "I've told you how I felt, but...never those words." His lips touched me again, on the side of my neck. "I love you more than my own life, Alina. I love you so completely, with all of my heart." He nosed my hair away, kissed my neck again. "You make me forget my own name," he murmured, with a touch of amusement. "I don't understand it. All you do is touch me and I forget everything. It's not meant to happen to me. But it does."

"Aleksander," I said, because there was nothing else to say. _He loves me._

He pressed his mouth to my neck and there was desire in his every movement. One hand came up and edged my blouse down my shoulder, making butterflies crowd into my stomach again. He kissed the exposed skin, his lips moving slowly, and I began to come undone. "Again," he whispered, his teeth gentle on my flesh. "Say my name again."

I had been right; it was too easy to become drunk on him. My mind was shutting down, foggy with pleasure. "Aleksander," I breathed.

He took hold of my wrist and raised my hand to his lips. I closed my eyes as he lovingly kissed each finger. Pausing at my littlest finger, he took the very tip of it between his teeth, biting down gently. I whimpered with sudden need and spun around in his arms. My hands were fisted in his shirt and I was kissing him before I could stop myself. His hands had slipped under my shirt, pressing into the small of my back. The heat of his touch made my blood sing. Our kissing was desperate, needy, both of us aching with pleasure. I didn't even realize I'd been backing him up until the edge of his bed hit his knees and I fell on top of him.

"Oh—!" I gasped, startled, and drew back slightly. "I—I didn't mean to..." I stopped because I wasn't sure how to finish that sentence.

His body was powerful and steely under mine, and we melted completely into each other from head to foot. Even through his clothes, I could feel the warmth of his skin, his legs twining with mine, the tantalizing ripple of muscle under his shirt. He held me to him and the way he looked, his black hair tousled and his dark lashes lowered, sent a pang of pure wanting through me.

"I, um. That was an accident," I stammered. "This doesn't mean I want to, uh..." Again, not sure how to finish that one.

A mischievous smirk lifted one side of his mouth. "Want to do what, Alina?" he asked, in a voice like black glass.

I stared at that devilish smirk, unable to believe how incredibly sexy it made him. "Nothing," I answered, trying to sound nonchalant. "Nothing at all."

"Are you sure about that?" He slid his hands up my back, still under my shirt, and stroked flames onto my skin. If I'd been standing, my knees would've given out right then.

"O—of course," I managed.

He chuckled, a sinister, delicious sound, and flipped us over faster than I could blink. My back sank into the mattress as he held himself over me, elbows braced on either side of my head. His hair flopped jaggedly over the dark brushstrokes of his eyebrows. One of them arched suggestively. "Do I make you stutter, Alina?" he asked in a murmur.

I couldn't answer because that was when he lowered his mouth onto mine. He kissed me slowly, languidly, angling his head to get closer and making me dizzy. I knotted my fingers in his shirt, burning up from the inside. The deadly, sweet taste made me forget all reason. It seemed to last so much longer than it did. He kissed me senseless, caused all thoughts to fly right out of my mind, until all I knew was the lean feel of his body on mine and the heartrending softness of his mouth. It was too tempting; I sank my teeth into his bottom lip and teased it with my tongue. He groaned when he felt it and pulled back with a gasp.

"You should go," he rasped, looking down at me with passion darkening his eyes.

"Why?" I asked. I was breathless from such a kiss. I'd never been kissed that way before, a way that was possessive and consuming, shaking me to the core.

His gaze raked all over me, as intense as a touch. "I can't control myself when I'm like this with you," he confessed. "And I don't want to do something that we'll both regret."

"I wouldn't regret it," I replied. But I wasn't sure. I'd told him I wasn't ready, but it was hard to think clearly with him on top of me.

He trailed a finger down my cheek. "I want you to be absolutely sure, when it happens," he murmured. "I want you to wait until you know you're ready."

He slid his arms under me and lifted me up off the mattress. I stood in his arms and tried to calm my racing heart. He leaned down and kissed my mouth briefly. When he drew back, he looked at me, devotion filling his gaze. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. "You don't even realize it. And I don't think you even understand the power you have over me. If you asked me to get down on my knees and beg for your love, I'd do it. If you asked me to die for you, I'd take my own life." He shut his eyes, trembling. "I can't believe I can say that, after all I've done. I've never loved someone like I love you. I don't deserve you and it means the world to me that you love me back."

Tears stung my eyes. How was it possible for someone to feel so much for another person? I wanted to tell him something like he'd told me, but simple words would feel empty compared to what he'd said. I hugged him hard and felt his arms fold around me in the growing dark.

I had never loved him more than I did in that moment.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Hey, people! Thank you very much for the reviews! I'm so happy you love Alina and Aleksander as much as I do. This chapter is shorter than my other ones, but that was done on purpose. It's going to get a lot more interesting at the Little Palace after this, but I'm not going to give anything away; you'll have to read to find out what's gonna happen. :)**_

_**Anyway, I hope you like it!**_

**A Single Match**

The man with the spiked blonde hair and the eyes like emerald chips, the man who had sold dreamcatchers and complimented a saint, was sitting in a dimly lit room at a lonely house. At the very edge of Os Alta, where no one would overhear his plans. He sat slouched back in his seat, elbow resting on a wooden table. He twirled a single match around in his fingers.

"I hate 'em," a ragged voice growled from the opposite side of the room. He stepped from the shadows, an old man with straggly gray hair. He had wielded a knife a few short months ago, and had nearly driven that knife through an abomination's heart. "They've all turned against us, even the Sun Summoner. She's protecting him, that—that..._monster."_

The blonde grunted in agreement. "We can't trust her," he muttered. "Not anymore." He met the old man's gaze. "I saw her with him. In the city."

The old Man's eyes widened. "You don't mean that they're..._together_, do you?"

"It sure looks like it," the blonde replied. He chuckled humorlessly. "I've heard old rumors too. Rumors from when she was in training." He paused dramatically. "And sharing the Darkling's bed."

The old man spluttered in revulsion. He ground his teeth in disgusted fury. _"Saint," _he spat contemptuously. "Some saint she is, fooling around with that creature."

"Even saints can make mistakes," the blonde replied. He stared at the match spinning in his grasp. "Even saints can die like us."

The old man's flinty gaze turned sharp with curiosity. "What're you gonna do?" he asked.

"Did you know that there's going to be a festival this week?" the blonde asked in reply. He nodded thoughtfully to himself. "At the edge of the city, far away from the Little Palace. Every Inferni will be there, putting on a show. And every Tidemaker will go as well, for safety precautions. It's going to be spectacular, from what I understand." He halted the match between two fingers and examined it through half-lidded eyes. Such a tiny piece of wood, such power in his grasp. "It would be a shame," he added, sarcasm rolling from his words, "if someone were to light a match near the Little Palace that day."

The old man thought this through.

And when he realized what this meant, he smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

**All right, here is my next chapter! Thanks for all the reviews! I knew that some of you were going to suspect that the blonde guy was a villain in this story. He doesn't come in again for another few chapters. His little plan is very important to this fanfic and for Alina and Aleksander. But I can't say anything else!**

**This next chapter is about how some of the Grisha at the Little Palace start to cause some trouble for Alina and Aleksander. Not too many fluffy scenes in this one, but the next chapter will have plenty, haha XD. **

**Enjoy the story!**

_**Alina**_

I should've known it was only a matter if time before my relationship with Aleksander started to cause real trouble. And it all began when Zoya arrived at the Little Palace.

Zoya had become one of my closest allies during the war and she was a brilliant fighter. After the destruction of the Shadow Fold, she had travelled Ravka, helping to piece together the towns that had been destroyed during the worst battles. But now, she was back, having heard about me staying at the Little Palace. Genya came to me two days before the Inferni's festival with the news that Zoya was waiting in the entry chamber for me. A bit of dread sank into me when I heard this. What was she going to think? Did she know about me and Aleksander? Saints, how did I explain _that_ to her? All of these thoughts were racing around in my head as I made my way through the palace toward the entry chamber.

Before I entered the room, I hung back in a shadowed doorway and leaned forward to peek inside. There weren't many Grisha in there this early in the day, but I spotted Zoya immediately. She was standing by one of the four wooden tables in the middle of the room, her flowing, ebony sheet of hair falling elegantly down her back. She wore her usual midnight-blue Summoner's _kefta_, looking flawless. I glanced down at my own clothes: black boots, plain pants, and a white peasant-style blouse. This wasn't what she expected of the savior of Ravka. _Well, I guess it's what she's gonna get._

I plastered a smile to my face and walked out to greet her. "Zoya!" I called, and she turned around at the sound of my voice. The dark look that entered her ice-blue eyes wasn't what I would've wanted from her in this situation. "I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I've been busy lately," she replied, without explanation. She had her hands on her hips, raking her gaze over me in an obvious show of disapproval. "And apparently, so have you."

Uh-oh. "Oh," I managed. "So...what did you hear?"

"Nothing really," she answered, a hard edge to her voice. "Only that you've gone crazy enough to shelter the Darkling at the Little Palace instead of having him killed." She fixed me with a cold glare.

I didn't say anything.

"So, it's true then," she concluded.

"Zoya, it's not what you think. He's changed."

"Oh, sure, he's changed," she repeated, dripping sarcasm.

"Zoya..."

"So, what did he offer you, huh?" she demanded. Her weight was sunk onto one hip, her every movement radiating anger. "Wealth? Some kind of protection? Or were a few times in his bed all you needed, _sankta_?" She spat the title at me contemptuously.

I flushed bright red. Obviously, I hadn't actually gone that far with Aleksander; but her accusation brought back the memory of his body on top of mine and his whisper in my ear, asking if he was enough to make me stutter. I had to remind myself that she didn't know about any of that. She was just assuming things. "None of those things," I insisted. "Zoya, please try to understand. This was hard for me too, at first. But he regrets what he's done and it's in the past now. Can't you try to forgive him?"

"Forgive him?" she echoed incredulously. "You want me to forgive that murderer, after he slaughtered people I cared about? I don't think so, Alina. He's taken advantage of too many people and you're so blind that you can't see that he's taking advantage of you!"

I flinched away from her words. "You don't understand—"

"I understand perfectly!" she snapped, cutting me off. "You've betrayed your country! He's found some way into your head and now you're turning away from all of us! Do you realize that at all? Do you know that you've given up on us? For _him_?" Without waiting for an answer, she spun away, storming across the entry chamber and out of the Little Palace. I watched her go, feeling numb. I wished I had the courage to run after her and explain that things were different now, and that she didn't have to leave because she didn't agree with my choice. But I knew she wouldn't understand, so I hung back as the doors swung shut after her.

"Well, this day is off to a great start," I muttered under my breath.

It was about to get a lot worse.

**Aleksander**

I knew the Little Palace better than any other place in Ravka. I had been there when the Second Army was founded and had helped design every inch of the ornately carved walls and gilded windows. I knew where every hallway led to, what was waiting behind every door, and had been inside all of the hidden, dim passageways. It was in one of those hallways that I was almost killed that day.

I was halfway down an empty hallway, trying to find Genya because I knew she was one of the leaders of the Second Army and someone had to do something about the Grisha who still wanted me dead. It wouldn't be long before some of them started to get fed up with me staying here. I wasn't stupid; I knew I was lucky that I hadn't been locked away or executed the moment I was taken from the remains of the Shadow Fold. Then again, I had wanted to die the day I lost my power. Before I decided to stay here, I thought. Before I realized I loved Alina. It still stunned me every time I thought of it. To realize that I would be willing to die for her, if I had to. She had been nothing but a tool before and now she was everything to me.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't notice the two Heartrenders until they were right in front of me.

One of them, a tall redhead with glinting green eyes, smirked mockingly and executed a small bow. "_Moi soverenyi,_" he greeted, his words laced with sarcasm. His dark-haired friend grinned maliciously. Both of them were blocking the way, shoulders stiff with a certain readiness that meant they were itching for a fight.

"Get out of my way," I growled. I was in no mood for this.

"Sorry, but we don't take orders from you anymore," the redhead replied smoothly. His gaze blackened. "We aren't going anywhere."

The dark-haired one sniffed disapprovingly. "What're you doing here, anyway? I thought they would've killed you the day you stepped foot in here again."

"None of your business," I answered shortly, wishing for one awful moment that I could summon and carve these two idiots in half.

"Oh, I think it is our business," the redhead snapped. "We want you gone, _merzost_." Abomination. I'd heard that plenty of times. His mouth twisted into a snarl. "Of course, you won't be leaving until the Sun Summoner's done with you."

"I almost forgot about that," the dark-haired one added. He glowered at me. "You should be executed for that alone. Not many Grisha can say that they've turned a saint into a whore."

I met his icy amber gaze head-on. "Take it back."

He released a bark of harsh laughter. "We all know it's true. First that tracker, then the prince himself. If you think you're the only one she's sleeping with now, then you're a fool."

"Take it back," I repeated, my hands in fists at my sides.

His expression went cold and he raised one hand. "Make me."

Moving fast, I strode forward before he could close his hand into a fist and stop my heart; I slammed his head against the wall with my hand on his neck and pinned him there. His eyes widened and he coughed, scrabbling at my fingers digging into his jaw. When his gaze flicked to something over my shoulder, I gritted my teeth. Then I spun, wrenching him off the wall and sending him barreling right into his friend, who had been lifting his hands to attack next. Both of them cried out in startled rage and went down hard. I stood over them, noting that the redhead now had a bloody nose and the other one was gasping for air.

"I wouldn't try that again, if I were you," I told them icily.

I should've known they wouldn't listen.

**Alina**

I turned away from where Zoya had disappeared and was about to make my way back to my room when a very worried brunette girl in Summoner's blue hurried up to me. She was clearly younger, her face taut with anxiety and her blue eyes huge. "_Sankta_!" she called, breathless. "Something's happened!"

My blood turned to ice in my veins at her words. "What is it?" I demanded.

"There's been a fight!" she cried, and the other Grisha in the room raised their voices questioningly. "It was the Darkling and two Heartrenders! Follow me!"

She whirled away and I jogged after her, my heart thudding against my ribs. A clatter of footsteps followed as the rest of the Grisha ran after us, curious and afraid at the same time. I hardly acknowledged their presence behind me. All I could think about was Aleksander. There was no way he could take on two Heartrenders without his power and not be injured in some way. Please, I prayed silently. _Please let him be okay_. The brunette Summoner led me and the other Grisha to a dim hallway at the side of the entry chamber. I caught a glimpse of a figure in front of me, but then the other Grisha jostled for a place and I was shoved back. Judging by the gasps and murmurs around me, I guessed that whatever they saw couldn't be good. I pushed past several Grisha and made my way back to the front of the crowd. Then I took in the scene before me and halted.

Aleksander stood calmly as the crowd gawked at him. He looked perfectly fine, no blood or bruises on his skin. At his feet, two Heartrenders were crumpled on the floor, groaning in pain. One of them was holding this nose with bloody fingers and the other tentatively touched his neck, breathing hard. It was obvious that they had been in a fight, but Aleksander was untouched. My eyebrows rose. He took out two Heartrenders alone? With no power? His gaze shifted over the gathering Grisha until it locked onto me. He blinked, his posture softening a bit as some of the tension left his shoulders.

Then an outraged voice shouted from the back of the mob. "Monster!"

Yells filled the air all around me and I flinched.

"Murderer!"

"Abomination!"

"Demon!"

Aleksander didn't react to any of their names. He took it all expressionlessly, letting them shout their insults. I ached for him. He regretted everything he'd done and these people wouldn't let him move on. It made matters worse now that he was no longer Grisha. He was lower than them and they treated him like it. I hated it. I wanted my own light back, so that I could show them what happened if they hurt the ones I loved.

Suddenly, one of the fallen Heartrenders grunted and rolled over onto his stomach. Crimson flecked his face, a sure warning of a broken nose, but he shoved himself to his knees with one hand. He reached out with the other toward Aleksander. I watched in horror as his fingers curled into a fist.

Aleksander made a small, choked sound and staggered. One hand came up to his chest and the other pressed against the wall to steady himself. He clenched his jaw, shooting a smoldering look at the Heartrender. The mob of Grisha fell silent immediately, some watching with terrified expressions, others eagerly waiting for the Darkling to fall. It felt like all the air was stolen out of my lungs.

"Stop!" I yelled, facing the Heartrender. He hardly glanced at me. I scrambled for some of the authority I'd once held. "I won't have violence like this in the Little Palace!"

"You aren't my leader," he snapped, surprising me with his ferocity. "You protected this creature!"

"I'm the Sun Summoner!" I argued. "You have to stop!"

"You betrayed us all!" he shot back. "You think we would ignore your crimes because you're a saint? You deserve to die, just as he does!" He lurched to his feet, wobbly from his earlier fight, and his other arm shot out toward me. Shrieks rose from the crowd.

"No!" Aleksander snarled, and advanced on the Heartrender, even as his heart threatened to stop in his chest. Panic flickered briefly over the Heartrender's face and he switched his aim away from me before I even felt any pain. All of his attention was focused on Aleksander now. Aleksander gasped and fell back against the wall again. His chest heaved with every breath.

"Don't!" I cried, desperate now. "Don't hurt him!" I took a step forward, but the brunette Summoner held me back with a hand on my arm. She said something about not getting injured myself, but I barely heard her. The only thing I could see was Aleksander dying in front of me.

The Heartrender ignored me. Both of his hands closed into fists now. In a sickening motion, he twisted his fists in the air, a horrid look of determination on his face. Aleksander let out an awful, pained cry and slumped down the wall to the floor. Blood trickled in a scarlet line from his nose. Tears welled in my eyes and I covered my mouth to bite down a sob. His eyes flicked to me for one shivering second. My courage crumbled away. I can't watch him die.

"_Stop_!"

The new voice was commanding, firm, and familiar. The mass of people parted as someone stalked through them. I glanced over my shoulder through my tears, and glimpsed Genya striding toward the front of the mob. Her flaming hair flashed and her one eye was glittering coldly. The Heartrender gulped at the sight of one of the Second Army's leaders. At first, I thought he wouldn't listen. Then he obediently dropped his arms to his sides.

Aleksander sank back onto the wall in relief, his hands slipping from his chest. I tugged out of the Summoner's grasp and stumbled over to him. Thankfully, no one moved to stop me. I knelt down beside him and touched his shoulder tentatively. The dark blood was gruesome on his perfect face, his eyelids drooping in exhaustion. He slid his hand weakly over the floor and closed his fingers over mine. "Alina," he murmured, and I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"I'm here," I said, twining our fingers together. "I'm here. You're going to be okay."

Genya started shouting at the Heartrender behind me, but it faded into the background when I looked at Aleksander. I had to reassure myself that he was all right, he was alive. He drew a rattling breath. "Thought he was going to hurt you," he mumbled, wincing at some hidden, lingering pain.

"I'm fine," I told him, touched that he would worry about me in his state. "Don't worry about me." My tears spilled over then and I choked back a sob. I raised our joined hands, kissed his knuckles. "I thought I lost you," I whispered, so that only he could hear.

"You won't lose me," he said softly. One side of his mouth turned up. "I plan on keeping you forever, _moi lyubov_. And you can keep me."


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hey! Thanks so much for reviews! :D**_

_**I listened to All The Way and Teenage Hearts, by Allstar Weekend before I wrote this chapter, so they inspired a lot of what happens... :)**_

_**I hope you're ready for what's coming up in the next few chapters, because things get a lot more serious soon. Anyway, hope you like it!**_

**Alina**

Later on that evening, when the sun was setting like a fiery ember on the horizon, I opened the door to Aleksander's room. I poked my head inside cautiously, but there was no one there. Slipping inside, I closed the door behind me and glanced around. The room was empty. The orange light of the sunset bathed the balcony outside, and spread over the floor and the silken sheets of the bed. I was halfway across the room when I heard the noise of the shower running. _So that's where he is, _I thought.

Relieved that he wasn't being attacked by more Heartrenders, I continued farther into the room. I paused next to the bed and trailed my fingertips over the soft sheets. I remembered what it felt like to sink back into his mattress, his hair in his eyes, his body lean and smooth under my fingers. A little shudder tightened my skin. There was no denying it: I was helplessly in love with him. No matter what anyone else thought. He was a piece of me now and I would never be able to give him up.

Just then, the bathroom door swung open. I jumped and turned around, ready to tell him that I'd wanted to make sure he was okay. The words died in my mouth. Aleksander stepped into the room, completely shirtless, and dragging a hand through his damp, rumpled hair. He noticed me standing there and a half-smile pulled at his mouth. "Hey," he greeted. "What're you doing here?"

"I, uh, wanted to see how you were doing," I stammered, because damn, he looked good. I stared at him stupidly, at his broad shoulders and at the deliciously sculpted muscle of his chest and stomach. To say he was gorgeous would be an understatement.

"I'm better than I was a couple hours ago, so that's something," he replied. He leaned with his shoulder against the doorframe, looking lazy and tempting. "I should've known the others wouldn't accept me forever."

Defiance flared in me. "Well, they're going to have to," I stated, knowing that this sounded childishly stubborn. "Because you're probably going to be staying here forever."

He glanced up at me, his smile widening slightly. "You think you'll want me that long?"

"Yes," I answered, smiling now too. "You're not getting away that easily, Aleksander."

He dropped his eyes at the sound of his name, the smile still curving his mouth. Then he pointed to something on the bed. "Can you get that for me?"

I looked down and saw his shirt lying on top of the covers. "Sure," I said, and picked it up. I could've tossed it to him, I supposed, but I didn't want to. Walking right up to him, I held it out. Getting out of a shower two minutes ago had magnified his addicting scent of soap and night winds, flooding my senses and making me lightheaded. He took the shirt from me, but before he could put it on, I cupped his face in my hands and brushed my lips over his. It was hardly a kiss, nothing more than a small touch. He froze, holding the shirt loosely in his hands, and I touched my mouth lightly to his again. When I daringly nipped his bottom lip, he made a soft sound and dropped the shirt to the floor. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in close.

At first, his kiss was gentle, under control. Then I ran my hands down his chest and he shuddered, kissing me harder. It was hungry and wild. I couldn't get close enough. My fingers slid down over the strong ripple of his abs and both of us gasped. I hung my fingers on his belt and left a path of kisses down his jaw, tasting his skin. His arms tightened around me, lifting me up the way he had before. I buried my hands in his hair and wrapped my legs around his waist. He backed us into the room and eased me back onto his bed.

"Say my name," he breathed into my mouth, his hands skimming over my body.

I rolled us over, pressing him down into the mattress. "Aleksander," I whispered and he trembled, closing his eyes. Without thinking, I slid down to kiss his stomach, his skin warm under my lips. I traced a line of kisses up his middle, letting him feel the slightest touch of my tongue. He arched his back in response and tilted his head back, letting out a soft moan of pleasure. The sound made me smile against his chest.

"Alina," he murmured, hands at my waist, holding me against him. My body rose and fell with every breath he took. "Stay with me tonight." I hesitated and he kissed my mouth briefly. "Even if it's just to hold you while you sleep. Please." He kissed me again and slipped his hands under my shirt, fingers splayed over my back. "Please, stay with me."

"What if I want more?" I asked softly.

He stroked his thumbs over my sides, gazing up at me. His quartz-gray eyes were half-lidded and foggy with desire. "I won't push you into anything," he said. "You know that. But, if you want me, I won't ask you to stop."

I slid one finger down his shoulder to his arm, feeling the hardness of the muscle beneath my touch. "I want you," I admitted. I bent my head to press my lips against his neck, inhaling his wonderful scent. "Badly."

He flipped us over again and pinned me beneath him. I slipped my leg around his, locking him against me, and he kissed me hard, consumingly. His fingers were hooked deep into my waistband, searing my hips, and I whimpered into his mouth. He broke away and kept our foreheads touching. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered breathlessly. I snagged his belt, pulled him closer, and his breath hitched. "I love you, Aleksander."

"I love you too," he murmured, leaning in to kiss down the center of my neck. His voice trembled with emotion. "Saints, I love you so much."

I cradled his face in my hands and brought his mouth back to mine. I wanted to know him better than anyone had ever known him before and I wanted to make him mine, completely.

I didn't know that this was one of the last times we would have together, before it all crumbled down around us.

**Aleksander**

I snapped awake in the middle of the night, gasping. Moonlight silvered the ceiling and shadows crept from the dark corners of the room. I lay back against the pillows and waited for my heart to stop racing. I couldn't remember what I'd been dreaming about, only that it had been enough to jerk me awake.

Something was pressed to the bare skin over my heart. I glanced down and saw that Alina had slid her hand onto my chest in the night. She was fast asleep beside me, her hair spread out over the pillow behind her. The smooth sweep of her shoulder was visible above the covers, skin touched by moonlight. I watched her for several long minutes and was struck once again by how beautiful she was, curled up against me. A fierce, awful ache of affection rose inside of me. I was so in love with her.

I touched my fingertip to the back of her hand on my chest, and drew imaginary lines down her fingers and over her knuckles. _Alina Morozova, _I thought, shaping the name in my mind. I wanted to give her that part of myself. I wanted to wake up like this with her every day. I had already told her my real name, heard her gasp it to me when her body was covering mine in the dark. But I wanted more: a lifetime with her, a safe place for both of us, a ring. Maybe someday, I could have those things.

_I can wait, _I thought, watching her eyelashes flutter as she dreamed. I had waited for her to love me for a long time. I would've waited forever, if that's how long it took.

**Alina**

Morning light burned my eyelids, dragging me out of sleep. I opened my eyes and stifled a yawn, stretching my arms above my head. Dawn was turning the sky outside to striking gold and set the lake aflame. I stared up at the ceiling and dropped my arms back onto the covers. Then confusion hit me. This wasn't my room or my bed. _And why am I...? _I glanced at the figure beside me and memories came rushing back. Oh. _That _was why.

Aleksander was asleep on his back, one arm flung over his stomach. His broad shoulders were caressed by morning sunlight and his black hair was ruffled, falling rakishly over his forehead. His chest rose and fell as he slept and I found myself watching him dazedly. Even in his sleep, he was stunningly attractive. I huffed to myself, thinking of my sleep-mussed hair. _That is just not fair. But I think I can get used to this, _I thought, as Aleksander made a tiny, adorable noise in his sleep, my name leaving his mouth in a sigh. I couldn't help but smile as he stirred and his eyes opened, misted with sleep. He glanced over at me.

"Were you staring at me?" he asked in amusement. His morning voice was low and husky, indescribably sexy.

"No, just..." I cast around for an excuse. "...looking."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh, please," I said loftily, working to hide my grin. "You aren't worth the effort."

He tossed me a wicked smile. "That's not what you said last night," he reminded me. "When I was—"

_"Shut up," _I interrupted, flushing crimson.

He laughed, and his laugh was even sexier than his voice. I mock-glared at him and gave him a shove in his shoulder. Before I could pull my hand back, however, his fingers closed around my wrist. I yelped as he yanked me to him. In a heartbeat, he had me under him, his body flush against mine, skin on skin. Sparks shot down my veins at his closeness. "You know," he murmured, trailing his hand down my side, "for a saint, you seemed to enjoy giving yourself to me." His palm melted into my hip and my heart sped wildly.

"I'm a saint," I replied, knowing he heard how breathless I sounded. "I can do what I want."

His hand slipped farther down my leg, sending shocks of electricity down my skin. He curved his hand under my knee and brought it up to his side, urging me to wrap my leg around his waist. "And what do you want, little saint?" he asked softly.

I wasn't thinking clearly at all. His fingers were inching up my thigh, teasing my skin and clouding my mind. I locked my gaze onto his. "You," I answered, right before he covered my mouth with his. He kissed me deeply, with the darkness he'd had inside, black and devouring. I ran his hair through my fingers, feeling the feather-like softness of it. His hand on my thigh slid higher and I looped both legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth. I felt his smile and the way he shuddered, unable to control himself.

A knock on the door made us both freeze. Quickly, I thought about all the people that would come here, looking for me.

"Genya," I whispered.

"Damn," Aleksander muttered.

The knock came again, soft, but insistent.

I started to untangle myself from Aleksander, but he brought his hands to my legs, keeping them around his waist. "Ignore her," he murmured, kissing my neck. "She'll leave eventually."

"She's my friend," I protested.

"She'll be fine," he whispered, kissing down to my collarbone. His tongue lightly grazed the hollow at the base of my throat. "She doesn't know that you were here all night." He kissed me again, lips gentle. "In my bed." His teeth brushed my skin and I began to fall apart. "With me."

"She's gonna know if she comes in here and sees us like this," I hissed. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed him back.

He sighed and let me slip my legs from his waist. "All right," he said. "Go talk to Genya." Then he traced one finger down the center of my chest to my stomach, making me gasp. "But afterwards," he whispered, "you're mine."

I was halfway to deciding that Genya could wait. I brushed my lips onto his and whispered his name to him, just to watch his eyes close at the sound. He still didn't understand that effect on him, how hearing me say it made him unravel in my arms. I loved it.

When I opened the door, Genya took one look at me and burst out laughing. "What?" I snapped, tugging nervously at my shirt.

"Oh my gosh," she laughed, shaking her head. Her face was alight with dark amusement. "Did you...did you spend the night here?"

I wasn't sure how I should answer that. "Um..."

"You _did, _didn't you?" she asked, grinning broadly.

"I didn't say that!" I protested. Of course, she didn't listen.

She clapped her hands together. "I knew it! I _knew it! _All right, tell me everything. And I want details," she added, placing her hands on my shoulders.

"I am _not_ giving you any details," I told her.

"Aw, come on! Why not?" She dropped her arms to her sides, pouting.

A new voice suddenly joined the conversation. "Yeah, Alina, why not?" Genya beamed at me as Aleksander stepped up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He was still shirtless and the strength of his arms slid up against my sides.

"Are you both going to bother me now?" I asked. Genya nodded vigorously and Aleksander flashed me his devil-may-care smirk. I sighed. Yes, they were. I glanced at Aleksander over my shoulder. "If you say one word about this to her, I will never hear the end of it."

"Fine then," he said, with an apologetic look at Genya, who pouted even more. "I won't say anything."

"Well, if you won't tell me, I have to make her talk," Genya stated. She pointed commandingly at me. "So, unfortunately, I'm gonna have to break this up for a while. Alina, you have to let me do something about your hair while we...discuss things."

I irritably blew a strand of hair out of my eyes, knowing that this was going to be a long day. "Okay, fine," I mumbled. Genya giggled gleefully, bouncing up and down. I scowled at her in reply.

"I'll see you later then," Aleksander told me, still holding me against him. He pressed his lips tenderly against my ear before letting me go. He disappeared into his room as I watched him, smiling idiotically.

"Okay, Alina," Genya said, grabbing a hold of my arm and pulling out into the hallway. "Let's go. You have some explaining to do."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Well, here it is! The climax to my little fanfic! :)**_

_**I don't want to give anything away, so just read and enjoy.**_

**Alina**

_**(time skip)**_

"Do you know what day it is?" Genya asked, reclining gracefully in her chair and crossing her legs. The sun was climbing the sky overhead, burning away the clouds and turning the forest into an emerald gem.

"What do you mean?" I asked from my own chair beside her.

She groaned and let her head fall back in dramatic hopelessness. "I'm beginning to think that you don't remember anything unless it has something to do with the Darkling," she grumbled.

Aleksander raised his hand from his place behind me; he'd wordlessly dragged me onto his lap when Genya and I had appeared on his balcony earlier. "I'm right here," he reminded her meaningfully.

"It's true though!" she pointed out. She gestured energetically at us. "I mean, look at this!"

"Are you going to tell me what day it is or what?" I asked, laughing at her wide-eyed expression.

"Okay, fine." Her face split into a devious grin and she rubbed her palms together in anticipation. "It's the day the Inferni and Tidemakers go out tonight to put on their show."

I straightened up in surprise. "Really?"

"Really," she replied, leaning back in her chair and closing her eye in satisfaction.

"I can't believe I forgot about that," I remarked, half to myself.

"I can believe it," she told me. "You've been with the Darkling. You probably forgot I even existed at one point."

I smiled at her. "Genya, no one could ever forget you; you wouldn't let them."

"I know," she chirped proudly. She met my eyes and smiled back, amber eye glittering playfully.

We fell silent for a little while, the midday sunlight warming the air around us. The Tidemakers and Inferni were gathering around the lake to practice again, their midnight-blue _keftas _brilliant against the icy color of the water. I watched them, leaning back against Aleksander's chest again. His warmth soaked into me and I relaxed against him. He had one arm around my waist and his other hand was at my neck, playing with my hair. He lazily wrapped a strand around his finger.

I turned my head so that Genya wouldn't hear. "Tell me you love me," I murmured, because I wanted to hear it again. I loved the way he said it, like it was the most important thing he would ever share with me.

He smiled slightly and ran his finger down the middle of my neck. My breath caught and I fought the urge to arch my neck back. His lips moved softly over my jaw and he whispered, "I love you." A tiny sigh escaped me and he pushed his face into my hair. "More than anything, Alina."

"I want to kiss you," I told him, shifting in his arms to look into his eyes. "But Genya's here." I looked down at his mouth, watched it twist seductively into a smirk.

"When she leaves," he said in a low voice, stroking his hand down my arm, "you can do more than just kiss me." His words sent a relentless longing into every part of me. I buried my face in his shoulder and began to pray that Genya would leave soon.

**Aleksander**

That was one of the last few times I held her, before it happened.

The last times I kissed her.

The last times I heard her voice.

I had thought losing my power was unbearable.

but it was nothing

compared to

losing

her

**Night**

The blonde man stood calmly, the night air icy and whispering of darkness. The great domes of the Little Palace loomed over him, surrounded by glorious stars suspended against the black velvet of the skies. It was a beautiful sight. At the very edge of Os Alta, the flames of the Grisha filled the night, followed by the delighted cheers of the crowd. Tidemakers stood to the side, carefully observing for trouble and enjoying the performance themselves. He almost pitied them. They would be missing quite a show back home.

He strolled casually up the gravel path, his shoes crunching in the stones. He was utterly collected, sure of what he was doing. There wasn't a rustle of doubt in his mind, no panicked rush of his heartbeat. He was doing the world a favor, he knew. Perhaps other Grisha would be lost in the process, but that was okay. He would only be ridding the world of more witches and more chances for one of them to turn against them.

As he approached the grand front doors of the palace, he slipped a match from his pocket. He spun the little piece of wood in his fingers and watched it blur in the moonlight. Earlier, he had trusted the old man to find help in their mission and he hadn't failed. The fuel of a hundred lamps had been thrown at the walls of the Little Palace, dousing the wood. It wasn't much, considering the bulk of the mighty building, but it was enough. No one had heard. They had waited until they were sure everyone would be asleep before beginning.

The man halted before the doors. The smell of the fuel invaded his senses. Without any expression, he lit the match with a _hiss. _He held it in front of him. It was a smoldering light in the dark, a tiny sun in his grasp. Such power from something so small. He smiled then, a cruel, unfeeling smile.

The little sun glowed brightly in his hand.

Then he let it fall.

**Alina**

In the dark, moonlit hall, Aleksander pushed me back into the wall and cradled my face in his hands. I felt his fingers on my jaw, cool and smooth. His body was pressed against mine and when the strength of lean muscle slid over me, I closed my eyes.

"If someone catches us, we're dead," I whispered, making him pause with his head bent toward mine, about to kiss me.

"Everyone else is asleep," he pointed out, his mouth inches from mine. "And besides..." He stroked his thumb over my lower lip and his breath came raggedly. "I couldn't let you go now, even if I wanted to."

I tipped my chin up, pressing my mouth against his. We kissed as though we were starving for each other. His hands skimmed down my arms to wrap around my waist. I curled my fingers in his shirt, inching it up to show a sliver of skin at his waist. He kissed my jaw, then my neck, his mouth soft on my skin. I let my head fall back to give him better access and he trailed burning kisses down the center of my neck. Gasping, I clawed at his shirt, shoving it up his torso. He raised his arms to let me pull it over his head. My hands roamed over his broad shoulders and down his chest to his stomach. When I slipped my fingers around his belt and tugged him closer, he shuddered.

"I have to go," I managed, as he seared my neck with his hands, thumbs sliding beneath my jaw.

He growled under his breath and dragged my shirt down one arm, his lips closing on bare skin. "Come back to my room with me," he murmured, kissing hungrily along my shoulder and making my knees weak.

"I don't want to push our luck by staying again." He reached the sensitive curve where my neck met my shoulder and flicked his tongue against my skin. "You already got in trouble once," I gasped, then a tiny moan of pleasure escaped me as he teased my flesh with his teeth.

"I love it when you make sounds like that," he whispered huskily. My insides melted as he touched our foreheads together and smirked sexily at me. "Makes me crazy to know you want me."

"I really have to go," I said, because if I didn't leave in thirty seconds, I was going to haul him into his room myself. I didn't even realize where my hands were until I felt them slip into his waistband and my thumbs slid over his hips.

He exhaled a trembling breath at my touch. "You're killing me, you know," he murmured. But his lips curved into a half-smile and he gently slipped my shirt back up my arm, kissing my shoulder once before he did.

I swallowed and lifted my hands from his waist. His smile deepened at my reluctance as he bent in one smooth motion to snag his shirt from the floor. Holding it in one hand, he reached up to cup my cheek. He briefly kissed my mouth. "My heart," he whispered, and kissed me a second time. "My life. I never imagined that you would make me so happy."

"You're going to make me cry if you keep saying things like that," I warned him, biting my lip.

He moved his thumb back and forth over my cheek, emotion filling his gaze. "Meet me on the balcony tomorrow morning," he whispered. "There's something I want to ask you."

"You can just ask me now," I told him, puzzled.

He shook his head. "I want to ask you there." He looked almost nervous for some reason, watching me seriously. "At the place I realized I loved you." My pulse sped up when he said it and I nodded. He touched his lips to my forehead and spoke against my skin. "Goodnight, Alina."

I whispered it back to him in the dark.

-o-o-o-

Something was filling my lungs, gripping me with sharp talons. I choked and coughed, dragging myself out of sleep. I sat bolt upright in bed, my hair matted with strands falling over my face. It was so hot, unbearably hot. I rubbed the last of the sleep from my eyes and stared in horror at the room around me. Everything was hazy, blurred by suffocating smoke. Red-hot claws of flame slashed at the walls, crept insidiously across the floor, roiling and deadly. I scrambled out of bed and landed clumsily on my feet. The floor was hot underneath me, warning of the fire blazing in the rooms below. For a brief instant, I wondered how much of the Little Palace was burning. Then a distant _crash _brought me back to my senses.

Coughing from the smoke, I dashed across the room to the door. Outside, I could hear the sounds of pounding footsteps and people screaming, yelling for others to hurry. They must have started evacuating earlier. I grabbed the doorknob and turned it. To my surprise, it wouldn't budge when I tried to pull it open. I blinked. I wrenched at it again, harder. Nothing happened. _Saints. _Sweat beaded my forehead as I took the knob in both hands and yanked on it with all my might. Behind me, the flames climbed higher, smoldering my back with heat. The doorknob slipped from my palms.

"Agh!" I hissed as I stumbled a few steps back. I came within a foot of falling into the fire roaring at the wall. Panic began to trickle into me like icy water. _There are no Inferni, _I thought, with growing dread. _And no Tidemakers. They're on the edge of the city, they'll never make it back in time. _

I flung myself at the door and rammed my fists against it. "Help!" I yelled, my throat raspy and sore. "Somebody, please! I'm trapped in here!" I listened for their voices, for shoes slapping the floor as they came to me. But there was nothing but the snarls of the flames around me. Even the noise I'd heard earlier was gone, fading away into the palace. I hit the door again. _"Help me! I'm still in here!"_

I spun around, my eyes flicking frantically about the room. The windows were at the far wall, but the fires had spread there already, eating up the wood around the glass. I couldn't jump through it and I certainly wasn't going to try. The fall would kill me if the flames didn't. My eyes burned with tears, brought by smoke and my own hopeless terror. There wasn't any way out.

Suddenly, there was a loud _thud _from the door. I whirled back around, eyes wide. Hope pricked at my heart. A familiar voice came to me, muffled from the other side of the door. "Alina?"

"Aleksander!" I cried, pressing my palms flat against the wood. "I can't get out! The door won't open!"

"Back up!" he replied, and I recognized the determination in his voice.

I hastily backed away. The sound of the roaring flames was loud in my ears and the heat was unbelievable. My throat stung from inhaling the poisoned air. I listened, shivering, as Aleksander threw himself against the door. The wood creaked, but didn't open. He swore under his breath. My heart sank. I staggered back to the door and leaned against it.

"Can you get out through the windows?" he asked, an edge of iron to his words.

"No," I croaked. "I can't make it through the fire."

He fell silent for a very long moment. The harsh crackling sliced at the air around us. The world went blurry, then focused again. "Is there anybody else out there?" I asked, desperate for some kind of hope.

"They were already leaving when I woke up," he answered. "It's just you and me."

I shut my eyes. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, blessedly cool compared to the burning walls and ceiling. I rested against the door for a minute, focusing on breathing, knowing that I was inhaling the black breath of the fire. There was no way out. There was no one to help us. I wouldn't be able to survive this. I wiped at my eyes with my sleeve. "Aleksander," I rasped, "you have to go. Before it gets much worse."

"I'm not leaving you," he said at once. "I can get you out."

"You already tried," I replied, my voice thick. "It's not going to work. Please, you have to leave."

"I won't go. Not like this, Alina."

A sob was working its way up into my chest and I struggled to push it down. "If you don't leave, you'll die," I choked out. "Please listen to me. Get out of here."

"I...I _can't." _He sounded as though the words caused him physical pain. "I can't leave unless you come with me. I can't let you die here, alone."

"You have to," I said weakly. "If you give up because of me, I'll never forgive myself."

There was a brief second of silence. "I'm not going."

"Aleksander—"

"I'm staying with you. You can't change my mind." I heard a small creak from the door and knew he was leaning against it when his voice came from right beside me. "I've given too much for you, to be with you. I lost my power and my army. I lost my mother. I should've known when to stop, but I didn't, and that almost made me lose you." He lowered his voice to a murmur, a soft lullaby next to my ear in the orange, burning world. "I gave myself to you. I've fallen so deeply in love with you, Alina, that there's no way out for me. You're all I have left and..." He stopped, and I heard a quiet sound then, a sound close to a sob. It went straight to my heart. Aleksander never cried, but when he spoke again, there was a definite tremor in his voice. "And I can't live without you."

I pressed my forehead against the door and closed my eyes. I didn't bother to stop the tears when they came. This wasn't the way I'd wanted my life to end. This wasn't fair. But it was even more painful to know that my entire existence was standing on the other side of that door, ready to die with me. "I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I thought I saved you and now it's—it's all _nothing_."

"It's not nothing," he said softly. "You did save me. I'll never be the person I was before and I owe that to you. You gave me a second chance_. _You gave me a chance to be a better man, and to live without fear, and to fall in love. If I was still Grisha, I would trade all of my eternity for one moment with you. No matter what, _moi svet, _I'll never regret what we had."

His voice was the last thing I heard.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hey guys! So happy you liked the story, even if the last chapter ended a bit cruel. Here it is though, another chapter for Alina and Aleksander. Hope you like this one :)**_

**Light & Dark**

On the deck of a sandskiff, not so long ago, a boy and a girl had thought their lives were ending. The boy had lain on his back, the deck slick with blood beneath him. The girl had bent over him, prepared to give her life to save his. As they waited for the volcra to strike, the boy whispered something to the girl, a secret shared between them that no one else knew. She knew then that she loved him. It had reached some lost, forgotten thing inside of her and awakened it. She had become the Sun Summoner.

That night, the crowd of terrified Grisha gathered outside the Little Palace, a blaze of fire reflecting in their eyes. They wept and watched as their home burned to the ground. The Tailor was shoving to the front of the mob, tears soaking her face as she realized that her best friend hadn't made it out. She closed her one remaining eye as the palace let out an ugly rumble. Part of the ceiling was about to cave in. The Inferni and Tidemakers were close, and would be able to save much of the Little Palace. But it was too late to save the people trapped inside.

On either side of a closed door, the girl and the boy who had once been the Darkling rested their foreheads against the smooth wood. The girl was slumping downward, losing consciousness. But before she did, she heard a whisper come to her, a secret shared in the flames. She whispered it back. It was only a few words, a secret she had heard and said before, but that had changed her every time. This time was no exception.

The Grisha screamed in horror as a huge section of the domed ceiling began to fold inward.

And then, suddenly, the windows of the palace exploded into color.

Light burst from the glass, blindingly white, the power of a thousand suns. It scorched the air even more than the fires did, intense and glimmering. The simmering whiteness was shot through with twisting tongues of black ink, living darkness that shifted and spun. It tumbled from the windows and curled into dark ribbons. The Little Palace was ablaze with light and dark, the two twisting around each other and becoming something incredible. The onlookers gasped and shrieked, exclaiming at what this could mean. The Tailor was speechless, a flutter of hope in her heart.

The extraordinary sunlight faded away as a massive _boom _thundered at the wall of the palace. Wood and stone splintered. A cloud of dust and debris billowed outward as a gaping slash of a hole was cut into the wall from the inside. The Grisha froze, peering through the spinning smoke. A blurry figure appeared, lopsided-looking because of the person held in his arms. The Tailor cried out and rushed forward as the boy dropped to his knees, holding the girl close. He had never left her side.

**Aleksander**

Alina's eyes were closed and her breaths came in rattling bursts. She suddenly felt so fragile in my arms, her shining white hair falling across her face. She was still beautiful and she was still mine. I refused to let her go, after being with her through so much.

"Oh my gosh! Alina!" Genya raced toward me, her _kefta _flapping wildly behind her. Tear tracks marked her face and there was a desperate glint in her eye when she saw her best friend limp and unconscious. She skidded to a halt a foot away. "What happened to her?"

"I found her like this," I rasped, my throat scorched by the smoke. I glanced down at the fallen angel curled against my chest. _I won't let you go._

Genya knelt down in front of me, her eye flitting over Alina's immobile form. "Here," she said. "I know what to do." She reached her hands for Alina, ready to take her. Without meaning to, I shrank back, cradling Alina protectively against my chest. Genya touched my arm in a comforting gesture. "It's okay. I need to heal her, that's all. You can trust me, _moi soverenyi." _The title came with difficulty and I knew she'd seen the moment when my power had returned to me.

I studied her, this girl who was Alina's best friend, and who had been the only Grisha to accept me. She had stood up for me when the Heartrenders had attacked me. I hadn't understood the kind of strength Genya had. I glanced over her shoulder, but the other Grisha were hanging back, giving us a wide berth. I turned Alina's body toward Genya. "Aleksander," I said quietly. Her head jerked up. "I'm not your leader, Genya. Call me Aleksander."

She was stunned, her lips parted slightly. But she soon nodded and stretched her hands out over Alina's chest. Much like a Healer would, her fingers roved an inch over Alina's body, her brow furrowed in concentration. She was seeking out inner injuries, coaxing the toxic smoke out of her friend's lungs. I watched her with my heart in my throat. I had gotten Alina out of the palace, just as I said I would. She couldn't give up now. Genya gave a low growl of frustration and bent closer to Alina.

Alina's body tensed as Genya emptied her lungs, then gave a pitiful-sounding cough, weak and feeble. A little groan of pain came from her throat. Careful to avoid Genya's work, I bent down and rested my forehead against Alina's. "Please open your eyes," I whispered. "I'm right here. You'll be okay, Alina, you're stronger than this. Please, open your eyes and look at me."

As if she had heard me, Alina's eyelids fluttered once and then opened. I straightened up again as she looked first at Genya. Genya was gazing down at her, relief and happiness glowing in her honey-colored eye. Without a word, she smiled warmly. Alina drew a shaky breath. "Thank you, Genya," she croaked.

Genya shrugged with one shoulder, but her radiant smile widened. "That's what friends are for," she replied.

Alina looked at me then and devotion blossomed in her gaze. "Aleksander," she murmured. I couldn't help but sigh when her voice slid over me, forming my name. I blinked when she caught me by the back of my neck and dragged me into a kiss. The exclamations from the watching Grisha drifted into the background. I had forgotten about what came with our power; the connection between us opened like unfurling flower petals, flowing into my veins with an intoxicating, blissful rush. It was too much and not enough at the same time. Knowing that we had an audience, I bit down a gasp of pleasure and broke the kiss. Alina gazed up at me, cheeks and lips flushed. "You stayed with me," she said, in a questioning way.

I brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. "Of course I did," I murmured. "I said I would never leave you, even if I could have all of my power again. You still mean more to me than that. You always will."

Her eyes glistened. With a little sob, she buried her face in my chest, her arms around my neck. I held her close as the flames slowly died behind us, and knew that I had been right: she would make me a better man.

I had expected her to be my balance.

But I hadn't expected any of this, this beautiful thing that she had given me.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Well, I did plan on this fanfic being shorter than one I've done before, and it is; more like a short story really. This is the last chapter, a little happy ending for all of you Darklina fans. Thank you all so much for the support I've gotten while writing this, whether you left a review or just read it while you were bored. It means a lot to me that you liked my writing so much. I can't wait to write more for you in the future! :)**_

**Alina**

"So?" Genya asked, waving her hands around dramatically. "What do you think?"

I examined the room around me. The Tidemakers and Inferni had worked so hard to save as much of the Little Palace as they could after the fire. Part of the ceiling was being repaired as we spoke and some of the rooms had been lost for good. Much to my dismay, this included _my_ room. The room I was moving into now was...bringing back memories.

It was the room that I had stayed in during part of the war: the chambers that had belonged to Aleksander, when he had been the Darkling. The black silk sheets of the bed had been replaced with ones of pure gold and the furniture was pure, gleaming mahogany. The walls were still carved into the exquisite scene of a mysterious forest, branches and vines intertwining beautifully. And I had asked that they keep the ceiling the way it was, despite Genya's many suggestions of a picture of a radiant sunrise above my head. But I liked the deep black obsidian and the pattern of glittering stones made to resemble a night sky.

"I love it," I said truthfully, smiling at Genya. "The furniture you had them bring in is very nice and so is everything else."

"I'm happy you like it," she replied warmly. Then she fidgeted, fingered the sleeve of her now-crimson _kefta. _"Um, Alina? Now that you have your power back, are you gonna...?" She looked to me to finish.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to lead the Second Army, Genya," I reassured her. "I gave that job to you and David and Zoya, at the end of the war. I want it to stay that way."

She cocked her head. "Then, what're you going to do?"

"Stay here," I answered confidently. I had already thought about this and was sure of my decision. I was done leading armies and living as people's saint. "Maybe teach young Grisha. Help you in any war, in any way I can. The usual jobs of a retired saint and a returned Sun Summoner."

"And what about Aleksander?" she asked. The name stumbled out of her lips, unfamiliar and strange. I knew that he had told her it, but it was unnerving to hear her say it.

I glanced down at my hands, calling my light, and let the sunlight dance between them. I had missed it so much. I could never give this up again. "He'll stay with me," I answered. I didn't add anything else.

She understood. Smiling slightly, she dipped her head in agreement. She walked across the room to the door, about to leave. Before she could, I hurried to her and pulled her into a quick hug. She immediately hugged me back. "Thank you—for everything," I mumbled into her shoulder.

"You're my best friend, Alina," she replied. She pulled back and flashed me her vibrant grin. "I would do it all again in a heartbeat." Then she turned away, and this time I let her go.

I stood there for a few minutes, alone in that wonderful, vast room. The walls loomed over me and there wasn't an echo of a sound. I pulled my blue _kefta _tighter around myself. It suddenly felt much too lonely in here. Striding in the direction Genya had left, I swung open the door and stepped out into the narrow hallway. Servants and workers who were repairing the palace hurried past me as I made my way through the halls. I had to climb up a flight of stairs and search my mind for the familiar path I'd taken many times before. But I soon found the right hallway, and the right door, standing all by itself at the end of the corridor. I opened it and snuck inside.

There was, of course, no one there. But that was okay. I passed the door that led to the bathroom, the bedside table, and the bed, all of which were still intact. This was one of the rooms that the Grisha had been able to save. I stepped out onto the balcony and the evening breeze ruffled my hair. Sighing, I leaned with my hands on the railing, the air cool on my skin. Below, the forest whispered and sang soft lullabies in the wind. I had missed this. Even standing there alone made me feel better than I had before.

The quiet sound of footsteps warned me when Aleksander was close. He slid his arms around me from behind and I felt the strong weight of his chest against my back. "What're you doing out here, all alone?" he asked, his dark hair soft on my ear.

"Nothing," I sighed, relaxing into him. "Wishing that things hadn't been like this."

"What do you mean?"

I ran my finger down his arm. "I never wanted other people to be affected by my choice," I admitted. "And now they've almost lost their home, because of me. Because of us. I didn't want that and I still don't."

He paused. His arms began to slip away, just a little. "Are you saying that you...don't want me anymore?" he asked hesitantly.

I didn't answer. When his arms threatened to pull away entirely, I turned around and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. His gray eyes held mine as I pulled him in close. I combed my fingers back through his hair and his eyelids slid shut. Leaning in, I touched my lips to his, a light tease that awakened a burst of that connection inside of us. I meant to pull back after a short second, but he moved closer, kissing me deeply. It was slow and certain, a constant flow of power gliding back and forth between us.

I didn't even have to think when I began to summon. Sunlight glowed around us, a golden cascade that shimmered in the afternoon air. I felt him smile against my mouth and tendrils of black ink snaked over me, tickling my skin and making the light dance. The light and darkness pulsed, lit up by the force that bonded us together. We broke apart and I allowed the sunlight to fade away. His darkness dissolved too, leaving the sinful whispers of night behind it.

Aleksander guided a strand of hair behind my ear with his fingers. "Do you remember when I told you I wanted to ask you something here?" he asked.

I thought back and nodded. "You acted like it was important," I said slowly.

"It is," he admitted. His fingertips grazed my ear. "I want to ask you now."

"Okay," I mumbled, not really listening. His thumb was rubbing back and forth over my cheek, clouding my mind until all I could think about was his touch.

He chuckled and slid his thumb down over my lips, a seductive caress that made me gasp sharply with pleasure. "You're not listening to me at all, are you?" he asked mischievously.

"I'm just...distracted," I managed. His thumb was resting on my lower lip. I took hold of his wrist and kissed his thumb, then bit down gently to taste his skin.

He watched what I did, his gaze misting over with desire. When I kissed him again, a steady path down from his thumb to his wrist, he swallowed hard. "Damn," he muttered. "You're making me forget what I wanted to ask you."

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked against his skin.

"No," he answered quietly. But then he bent his head toward mine and whispered, "close your eyes."

I bit my lip to snag a smile and did as he told me. I felt his hand slip away from my grasp. There was a shifting of movement as he stepped back, then another sound, one I didn't recognize. I couldn't figure out what he was doing. His voice came again, and it sounded...anxious? "Okay. You can open your eyes now."

I opened my eyes—and inhaled a quick breath, my hands coming up to cover my mouth. I stared at him, overwhelmed by the surge of emotion that welled up within me. Tears pricked at my eyes and his image swam in my vision, the image of him on one knee in front of me. Something small and exquisitely lovely sparkled in his hands.

"Alina," he said, a smile warming his words. I understood then what he felt when I said his name, because I felt it in that moment. It washed over me beautifully and unraveled something inside my heart. "Will you marry me?"

A little sob of happiness escaped me. I couldn't speak; I nodded, a grin spreading over my face. When I felt the cool smoothness of the ring slip onto my finger, a sweet shock leapt down my arm. I was his, now more than ever. There would be no more nights spent alone, no more empty days, no more fear. He was here and that was all I had ever needed.

When he stood, I flung my arms around his neck and kissed him, because it was all I could think to do. He let out a small sigh of bliss and I threaded my fingers through the silken hair at the nape of his neck. His fingers found the front of my _kefta, _expertly undoing the tiny buttons. He pushed the fabric away and slid his arms inside, one hand warming the small of my back through my thin white shirt. I felt his other hand slip under my shirt, whispering circles onto my stomach and tracing my ribs. A wanting noise came from my throat. Pulling back, he touched his forehead against mine. My eyes fluttered open, my heart speeding from his kiss and his touch. I looked at him, at the way the wind mussed his black hair, tugged at his clothes.

_"Moi lyubov," _he murmured, smiling at first, but with a touch of seriousness. "I want to spend the rest of my eternity with you. You've given me everything I've ever needed. Now I need to do this for you." He took my hand and fingered the ring glittering in the sunlight. "I'll make you happy. There won't be one day that you'll wish for something else, someone better. Every day, I'll take care of you."

"Aleksander," I whispered, overcome by how much I felt for him.

He closed his eyes and drew me to him, his body flush against mine. He buried his face in my neck and when he spoke, his voice held unbelievable emotion. "I love you."

"I love you too," I breathed back, and he relaxed at the words.

He held me close as the sun inched down toward the horizon, a golden flame in the sky. Once, I might have thought a happy ending like that wasn't possible, not with him. But there were many things that I had thought were impossible once; a Tailor rising to be the leader she was meant to be, or a lonely saint regaining her power, or a boy finding his way out of the dark.

There would be more challenges, that I knew, and more nightmares to be fought away. But I wasn't backing down.

There was nothing more to be afraid of in the dark.

**THE END**

_**P.S. If you enjoy love stories like this (and the movies Frozen and Rise of the Guardians), you'll like my new fanfic, Shiver. Also, there's a chance that I might write a short sequel to What We Had; it would be about as long as this. If you think I should, or have any ideas, let me know :)**_


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